By popular demand, I present to you.. my magnum opus.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius

At age 52, Ichiro just threw a 127-pitch shutout with 17 strikeouts during an All-Star game against the best high school girls in Japan. seattletimes.com/sports/mari…

Average salary in 2006 = 64 oz of Gold. Average salary today = 15.5 oz of Gold. Our parents earned 48.5 ounces more Gold per year than we do. Brutal.

Trump has pardoned the following people charged with fraud: —George Santos, wire fraud —Ross William Ulbricht, fraud with identification documents —Rod R. Blagojevich, 8 counts of wire fraud under color of official right —Brian Kelsey, conspiracy to defraud the United States —Devon Archer, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Trevor Milton, securities fraud; 2 counts of wire fraud —Jason Galanis, 2 counts of conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud; investment adviser fraud —Ozy Media, Inc., conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud —Carlos Roy Watson, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud; aggravated identity theft —Michele Fiore, 6 counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud; wire fraud —Scott Howard Jenkins, conspiracy to commit bribery concerning programs receiving Federal funds, honest services mail fraud, and honest service wire fraud; honest services mail fraud; 3 counts of honest services wire fraud —Julie Chrisley, 5 counts of conspiracy to commit bank fraud; bank fraud; wire fraud; conspiracy to defraud the U.S. to obstruct and impede the Internal Revenue Laws —Todd Chrisley, conspiracy to commit bank fraud; 5 counts of bank fraud; wire fraud; conspiracy to defraud the U.S. to obstruct and impede the Internal Revenue Laws —Lawrence S. Duran, conspiracy to commit health care fraud; 11 counts of health care fraud; conspiracy to defraud the United States and to receive and pay health care kickbacks — Michael Gerard Grimm, aiding and assisting in the preparation of false and fraudulent tax returns —Marian I. Morgan, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 7 counts of wire fraud; 5 counts of transfer of funds taken by fraud —John G. Rowland, conspiracy to defraud the United States —Charles Overton Scott, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Glen Casada, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 4 counts of honest services wire fraud; use of a fictitious name to carry out a fraud —Cade Cothren, conspiracy to defraud the United States; 6 counts of honest services wire fraud —Robert Henry Harshbarger, Jr., health care fraud —Joseph Lewis, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; 2 counts of securities fraud —David Gentile, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; conspiracy to commit wire fraud; securities fraud; 2 counts of wire fraud —Jacob Deutsch, conspiracy to commit mail fraud and wire fraud —Adriana Isabel Camberos, conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud; 7 counts of wire fraud and aiding and abetting —Andres Enrique Camberos, conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud; 7 counts of wire fraud and aiding and abetting —Julio M. Herrera Velutini, 2 counts of honest services wire fraud —David Levy, conspiracy to commit securities fraud; securities fraud —Hollie Ann Nadel, conspiracy to commit money laundering and bank fraud —Mark T. Rossini, honest services wire fraud —Wanda Vazquez Garced, honest services wire fraud —Terren Scott Peizer, securities fraud —Timothy S. Smith, conspiring to defraud the Internal Revenue Service —Stephen E. Buyer, 4 counts of securities fraud —John Dougherty, 24 counts of wire fraud; conspiracy to commit honest services fraud and federal program bribery; 7 counts of honest services wire fraud —Joshua L. Davis, conspiracy to defraud the United States and violate the Clean Air Act —Matthew Sidney Geouge, conspiracy to defraud the United States and violate the Clean Air Act —Adam R. Kidan, conspiracy to commit wire fraud and mail fraud; wire fraud —Spade K. Bailly, conspiracy to defraud the United States and to violate the Clean Air Act

The crossover you didn’t know you needed…

Bessent’s daily routine.. 5am: Wake up. Check 10 year yield. 5:05am: Check Truth Social to see if Trump fired me in the night 5:10am: Send message to group chat of all my commodities hedge fund buddies: “Hormuz deal coming today - max short 🛢️! 3==D🚀” 5:15am: Check 10 year yield 5:30am: Call the SPR guy: “I got your voicemail, I don’t care if the caverns collapsed…get a shovel and release the barrels motherfucker.” 5:45am: Call Kevin Warsh and just breathe heavily on the phone 6:00am: Send message to Japanese PM- “I know you’re awake if I find out you sold a single bond we’ll make Hiroshima look like a grocery store firecracker.” 6:15am: Check the 10 year yield 6:30am: Accidentally pocket dial Yellen. Neither of us hangs up. 30 minutes of silence. 7am: Text Barak Ravid “Hi this is anonymous source again war is over today, Iran begging for a deal. Print it.” 7:05am: Read WSJ…schedule rage tweet at a journalist who accused me of manipulating Japanese currency 7:15am: Buy $10B more Yen 7:30am: Record CNBC interview: “We’re not manipulating Yen. Also Hormuz is definitely opening today.” 7:37am: Check 10 year yield 8am-10am: Stare blankly at the Treasury auction schedule while a tear slowly rolls down my face 10:15am - Trump: “Yessir, I did do the Warsh heavy breathing call” 10:17am - Day is over, time to return to my sarcophagus before the sun gets too bright…Set alarm for 2am to check Japan opened correctly. They know what happens if they didn’t listen ☢️ 11:27am - snap awake in cold sweat and quickly check 10 Year Yield

Lindsey Graham’s main Mossad handler gives a wistful sigh as he erases two terabytes of blackmail material

This sketch is hilarious

explaining how i can’t do my email job without access to the latest frontier model to a roman peasant who was crucified for stealing bread

Your friend has been spending way too much time with AI. 😂

“The reflecting pool is open and everyone is having a wonderful time.”

Inflation is completely out of control, you can’t even take 3 kids to a Detroit Tigers game anymore without spending an arm and a leg! Crazy!

Me explaining to my family what | do at work

Possibly the greatest single male athletic performance of all time

Me when I’m trying to get the waiter’s attention at the izakaya to order my 12th lemon sour highball (mega size)

24 years old. Fully paid off Costco hotdog. It's not "parents money". It's not luck. It's consistency. It's discipline. I grind EVERYDAY to live this lifestyle.