- Tweets 1,749
- Following 176
- Followers 127
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Pinned Tweet
Friend’s 3yo: Did I pick this TV
-No darling, you werent born
-Because I was at home
-No you hadnt been born yet
-Because I was still in mummys tummy
-No, you weren't even in mummys tummy yet
-But did I have eyes
-You didn't, you didnt even exist yet
-Ah, because I was at the zoo
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Matt retweeted
Hell hath no fury like an internet intellectual seeing another person succeed.
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I don’t know Elon’s preferences on Celtic independence but, considering the torrent of flag waving, “you’ll miss us when you’re gone” pro-unionist voices being pushed on my algo, I can take a wild guess.
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You know, I’m not a Billy Eilish fan, but when I heard “Bad Guy” I thought, “oh, so there will be a new pop sound for the 20s.”
None of these songs even begin to match that. These could all be released as forgettable radio fodder any time in the last 15 years. Stuck culture
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God some fuckers on here are real jealous when a bigger guy looks good. And I say that as a skinny guy that looks like shit.
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The photographer, happy to finally get everyone’s faces in the photo.
Me, with my handy hole punch:
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Whenever a novel term breaks into the mainstream a subset of people think it’s some evil newspeak plot but it’s usually just jargon from people who talk about a topic a lot, encountering people that don’t.
Experts and fanatics come up with a lot of terms to describe nuance 🤷
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If Mark Wahlberg was a groomsman things may have turned out differently
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I know you mean something more specific, but nearly all wedding rings specifically designed for men are terrible.
Such clear overcompensation for wearing jewellery. Loads of “gunmetal and titanium” with a guitar string in it or whatever.
Fellas, it’s not gay to be married.
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Perhaps Donkey Kong Country was a case of unreliable narrator and King K Rool was merely a revolutionary distributing the wealth
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Fans of famously bad teams driving 200 miles to an away match where they know they’re going to lose, scoring a surprise goal, and singing “how shit must you be, it’s only 4-1”.
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Matt retweeted
Didn’t realise my copy of Dune had been previous owned by a monster until the bright pink inanities started turning up in the margins
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Medium is hugely important. Times New Roman, for example, was designed for newspaper, where the thin lines would bleed and thicken slightly. It’s why it looks terrible on screen or even glossy paper.
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Matt retweeted
There’s a UK phenomenon where industrial bars in the city will expertly serve 20 different, hand-pumped ales brewed in someone’s shed.
Then you’ll go to a beautiful, medieval country pub and your options are 3 international lagers and an alcopop.
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When I was 18 I found myself in a North Finnish town. I got chatting to a local and mentioned how we’d had little luck making friends with the Fins. I basically asked if we were annoying.
“No”, he said, “we just have a lot of space here and enjoy the solitude.”
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Two good options. “Listen, it’s going to be about 20 minutes, do you want some fresh air or to read a book?”
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First time I tried to walk from Bank to London Bridge station using Maps I somehow found myself eating a burrito in the Barbican.
Felt dumb, but not a terrible result, all in all.
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Friend’s 3yo: Did I pick this TV
-No darling, you werent born
-Because I was at home
-No you hadnt been born yet
-Because I was still in mummys tummy
-No, you weren't even in mummys tummy yet
-But did I have eyes
-You didn't, you didnt even exist yet
-Ah, because I was at the zoo
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Matt retweeted
I’ve been climbing and mountaineering for around 15 years.
Whether on the mountain, or up the pub, I sometimes found myself in stupid positions in my early days. It’s the (over)confidence of youth.
I’m older and more cautious now, but it is only by luck that I got here.
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