nothing i tweet is true.
arab ting 🇰🇼
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update on the male happiness investigation: several suspects have bypassed the cheating allegations entirely and gone straight to threatening rape and murder in my DMs. their bios say “father” and “lover of christ.” anyway i’ve never been more committed to my work.
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men asking what do we bring to the table. beloved can you provide proof that you even own a chair?
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i have absolutely zero “talking stage” left in me, fck you and your favorite color ok?
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curly fries but i’m saying it quietly because some of you are extremely emotional about potatoes
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i used to have one on ones with a lot of you, now we barely acknowledge each other on here. do i just not show up on your algo no more or are we beefin, because i forget
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nothing humbles you faster than finding out the person you’ve been avoiding wasn’t trying to speak to you either
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your ancestors survived plagues and predators so you could prop an iphone on the dashboard and cry directly into it
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sade really had us singing “coast to coast, LA to chicago” on smooth operator.
girl what coast is chicago on. quickly
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americans have been slowly replacing the word “when” with “whenever” and everyone just let it happen. english isn’t even my first language why am i doing maintenance. I AM FOREIGN AND TIRED.
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