Uncertain around certainty, tired of drifting, the search for purpose and meaning continues....! No DM's, ta!
Cheltenham, UK
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I gave my wife a rare locket for her birthday...
'Wow' she said, 'Eucalyptus flavour...'
#badjokethursday #LunchPun
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Me: [delirious] ...Flash Gordon...I'll destroy your primitive planet...you impudent worm...
Doctor: Oh no - he's faux Ming at the mouth!
#sidesplittingsunday
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The Doctor has recommended blood thinners...
It's a weight loss club in the LA underworld...
#BadJokeFriday
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'Let me be clear - creased or wrinkled clothes will NEVER be tolerated in the White House!' said a Press Secretary...
#LunchPun
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I just saw two wheeliebins have a boxing match...
They were professional though - nothing below the waste...
#badjokethursday
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With tour costs spiralling out of control, two bands aim to save money by combining into one super group...
Tickets are now available for Boney M People...
#LunchPun
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Ironically, when leaving the underworld Orpheus was listening to Aswad's 'Don't Turn Around'...
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After several hours of intense arguing over what to name our new baby we realised fighting was pointless, so we called it quits...
#sidesplittingsunday
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I accidently left my Starship Enterprise model out in the sun, now it has warped...
#sillysaturday
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My boss has forbidden me from showing both gratitude and derision simultaneously...
It's become a bit of a ta/boo subject...
#LunchPun
#BadJokeFriday
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I studied cup a soups at university - now I've got a Batchelors degree...
#MondayMirth
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After the success of my debut film 'The Phone Thief', I'm pleased to announce work is underway on the sequel - 'Phone Thief 2: This time its purse n'all'...
#sillysaturday
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Alas, I no longer cosplay as a Tudor monarch...
I burnt those breeches a long time ago...
#LunchPun #BadJokeFriday
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When they first met in Oz the Tin-Man wanted to tell Dorothy that she had chronic BO, but he didn't have the heart...
#sidesplittingsunday
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So I attended a three hour lecture on Birds...
I didn't know Angel Delight had so many flavours...
#BadJokeFriday
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Me: Help me doc, I think I'm an ancient Greek adventurer on a mission to get home. My mate says it might be an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder...
Doctor: Hmm, sounds more like ODCS to me...
#LunchPun
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When I visited Paris the locals seemed to think I was a big Black Eyed Peas fan...
Dunno why, all I said was 'Where is the Lourve?'...
#badjokethursday
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Noel Anthony Conway retweeted
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago, the second best time is now. CHINESE PROVERB
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My ability to turn into a super quiet insect has garnered interest from the X-Men, who provide a safe space for all mute ants...
(Sorry)
#sidesplittingsunday
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Ed Sheeran always dithers when it comes to buying a Boots meal deal as he doesn't like choosing sides...
#sillysaturday
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