✨ Top Senior Chief Legal Counsel - Shadow Cabal News ✨ goddamn twitter kingpin ✨ certifiable problem ✨ The Collapse™ ✨ Bourbon and Bullshit ✨ Nestmaxxing ✨
Not A CIA Blacksite
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Don’t Care ✨ Didn’t Ask ✨ Opinion Discarded ✨ Cope ✨ Seethe ✨ Touch Grass ✨ Die Mad ✨
ALT Nice Cage smoking cigar at start of Lord of War movie
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Had multiple people say “you cut your hair shorter it looks so cute” when they hadn’t seen me in a while so obviously they hate me and are now my enemies
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Once upon a time I read some study that completing tasks with your non-dominant hand is neuroprotective so I have been attempting to be more consistent in utilizing my left hand more frequently
The most difficult aspect is feeling like the Butler from Scary Movie 🫠
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You can’t tell me shit. I am unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In my lane. Focused. Singing Sinatra’s Witchcraft in my kitchen while making eggs. Flourishing.
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When you read stuff like this it makes you even more pro-death penalty. Yes I have read OPs comments. What Pike needed was absolutely the death penalty, and her penance should have been expedited, not waffled about for over 30 years.
When you read stuff like this it makes you even more anti-death penalty. Yes I have read exactly what she has done to her victim. What Pike needed was extreme psychotherapy in an institution, not the death penalty.
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If you had told me when I was in high school I’d be nearly 40 and concerned we’re going to have a winter with below average snowfalls — not because I want a white Christmas — but because I’m deeply concerned about potential drought, I would have thought you were smoking crack.
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Maybe @Nike wouldn’t be missing their earnings targets if they sold laces for the shoes on their shelves…
I am once again begging companies to stop using specialized accessories, such as SHOELACES, without offering replacements for purchase.
YOUR WHOLE BRAND IS SELLING SHOES BUT YOU DON’T HAVE SPARE LACES TO SELL?????
I’m not asking for much here. I’m not demanding free replacements. I’m not expecting lifetime warranties. I am LITERALLY trying to GIVE YOU MONEY for a piece of STRING and you’re telling me “sorry we don’t sell those separately” ????
Do you know what happens when a shoelace breaks? The ENTIRE SHOE becomes unwearable. ONE HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLAR shoes rendered USELESS… by a 30 CENT piece of POLYESTER.
AND I CAN’T BUY A REPLACEMENT FROM YOU.
“jUsT bUy GeNeRiC LaCeS”
WRONG.
Your proprietary lacing system with the special aglets and the specific length and the unique flat-woven pattern means generic laces look like GARBAGE and don’t even thread properly through your designer eyelets.
You spent millions on R&D perfecting the exact tensile strength and aesthetic profile of these laces. You have a warehouse FULL of them. You thread them through every pair before shipping. But selling them individually? THE OPTION DOESN’T EVEN EXIST ON YOUR WEBSITE.
Not sold out. Not backordered. Not “coming soon.” Just… absent. Like the concept never even OCCURRED to you?? Like you genuinely never CONSIDERED that shoelaces might need replacing?!
HAVE YOU NEVER HAD A PUPPY??
Make it make sense.
Things used to LAST in America. You could buy replacement parts. Companies WANTED your product to keep working because it meant you’d come back. Now? They’d rather you throw out the whole shoe and buy a new pair.
This is planned obsolescence for SHOELACES. We’ve reached the dystopian endpoint of capitalism where companies won’t even sell you the STRINGS that make their products functional.
I have FOUR PAIRS of otherwise perfect shoes sitting in my closet because I can’t source the correct replacement laces. This is insane. This is wasteful. This is everything wrong with modern consumer culture condensed into a shoe-sized problem.
JUST SELL THE FUCKING LACES.
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Also if they didn’t design such shit footwear…
OKAY SO CAN WE TALK ABOUT WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAPPENED TO SHOES??? Like I’m being DEAD SERIOUS when I say that Big Shoe™ is 100% in cahoots with podiatrists because there is NO OTHER EXPLANATION for why every single shoe now looks like a DYSTOPIAN FOOT PRISON.
First of all, this CURSED MATERIAL they’re using for soles now?? It’s some plasticky ABOMINATION that feels like you’re walking on slightly cushioned CONCRETE. Who approved this??? Who wore the prototype and said “yes, this is it, this is the future of footwear”??? I want NAMES.
THEN there’s the sole THICKNESS. We’re talking PLATFORM SHOES levels of thick. I’m getting ALTITUDE SICKNESS while having a face to face conversation with God. I’m convinced Goliath was a time traveler sporting Nike Hyperboots.
Speaking of Nike. The AUDACITY! The SHEER UNMITIGATED AUDACITY of what they did to the Free Runs. Remember when they were actual running shoes?? Minimalist, flexible, perfect toe box, BUILT TO LAST?? Now they’re some sort of fun house mirror where there’s enough real estate in there to house ALL OF EUROPE but the heel shoves your foot so far forward your big toe is being WATERBOARDED and getting them on is like trying to parallel park your foot. And those fancy new soles made of ✨GESTURES WILDLY✨?? Taken out by a solitary ROCK on your first run
GOD SPEED finding a NORMAL SHOE (you can’t).
At this point I’m convinced Big Shoe™ is INTENTIONALLY destroying our feet and podiatrists are CASHING IN. The Shoe Industrial Complex is coming for our ARCHES and I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY
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Remember when rumor mills ran on whispers and not 24/7 podcasts? What a time to be alive.
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You know how I know I will always succeed?
Because every time I thought I wouldn’t? Every time I thought the chips were down and the house had won? That I wouldn’t survive another loss?
Somehow, I made it to the other side… and things were always better than I anticipated.
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