awkward human
- Tweets 15,256
- Following 1,698
- Followers 11,810
- Likes 95,078
Pinned Tweet
I think my therapist hates me. Wish I had someone to talk to about this.
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Kat retweeted
you’ve heard of the for you page, now get ready for the Against You page
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When I met this girl three years ago, she checked off exactly zero of my boxes, but I couldn't resist a tiny tripod kitty. Now I'm so grateful she's the one I ended up with. Here's her official shelter portrait vs. us together. Happy Gotcha Day, Little Miss Brown Tabby Three Legs
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The best part of my day is when I mix the milk in and watch my coffee change color. It's all downhill from there.
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If I ever get married, I want a ring so big that astronauts on the Space Station know I'm off the market.
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Explaining to my siblings that I get our mom's fat squirrel statue bc we bought it together after she signed me out of the psych ward
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One day, in the distant future, after I've lived a long, full life of hard work and sacrifice, maybe I too can afford a pair of seamless cotton panties
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Kat retweeted
miss someone -> want to reach out -> remember that everything is different now -> curl up -> die
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My siblings and I have determined that none of us ever used a car seat. There's a good chance my parents just tossed me in the back seat to take me home from the hospital.
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Kat retweeted
I love ny bc you’ll meet the craziest hoe in your life but they’ll diligently keep up with a book club or something
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My older sister just very casually admitted that she spent many years with an inferiority complex over my SAT scores
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The merest indication that I might need to wear real pants is an affront to my entire way of life.
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