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I'm not sure everyone is ready for how unbelievably stupid the next two years are going to be.
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CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
theonion.com/cia-realizes-it…
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I need an Onion Newspaper subscription so badly but I want it delivered by someone tossing it onto my front porch from the basket of their bicycle as they keep moving forward
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getting the onion newspaper is worth it alone for the ads
We Won't Allow Savings Like These To Last. Become an Onion Member at 25% off here: membership.theonion.com/?cam…
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Get more news than your fragile mind can handle. Subscribe today at 25% off.
membership.theonion.com/?cam…
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Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person.
Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT.
Only at The Onion on Youtube here: piped.video/watch?v=XjhSoGcQ….
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Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.
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This Week's Onion Magazine:
ALT Charlie Kirk, Not In His Own Words: We Honor The Right-Wing Activist By Making Up Quotes That Sound Much Better, Given The Moment
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Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From theonion.com/trump-spends-en…
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Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk theonion.com/report-you-to-b…
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I talked this morning about Elon Musk, his Paul Pelosi conspiracy theory, and how you lose a democracy in the age of the internet.
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1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers, on our new series, Encircled. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com/tote… today and receive a free tote bag.
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When new owners took the helm of the Onion last year, they tried to revive the satirical publication by rolling back the publication. Their bet on print is starting to pay off on.wsj.com/4lwGOXj
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Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything theonion.com/conservative-ma…
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