By day, mild-mannered editor @POLITICOEurope, Declassified columnist, occasional stand-up comedian, and writer/performer @SchumanShow. By night, same.
Brussels, Belgium
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There's only appropriate punishment ... make them give back Elliot Anderson for nothing #nffc
A seismic day for English football.
This ruling is incomparable to Everton, Forest and even Chelsea (who largely self-reported their breaches).
Manchester City appear to be guilty of what is essentially corperate fraud on a mammoth scale, cheating the system by inflating commercial revenue/sponsorship payments, allowing them to become the club they are today.
Its calls into question the integrity of one of the most significant and dominant Premier League champions we’ve ever seen.
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Paul Dallison retweeted
The United Nations General Assembly is like Christmas with the extended family:
Hours of extreme tedium, punctuated by the occasional offensive outburst or fistfight.
In his Declassified column, @pdallisonesque revisits the explosive moments at UNGA 👇
politico.eu/article/boredom-…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
French President Emmanuel Macron wants Europe to develop a crewed spaceflight program within a decade.
But what would life in the EU even be like in 2036?
@pdallisonesque imagines it in his latest Declassified column 👇
politico.eu/article/eu-in-sp…
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For reasons I can't explain, I've been writing my Declassified column @POLITICOEurope for 7 years. A huge thanks if you've ever read it (even if you then emailed to ask 'is this supposed to be funny?')
politico.eu/article/dont-tak…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
Some drug dealers have been making ecstasy tablets shaped like the face of Donald Trump.
But his likeness isn’t just appearing on narcotics.
Read more in @pdallisonesque's latest Declassified column 👇
politico.eu/article/dont-tak…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
EXCLUSIVE: Indian PM Narendra Modi is planning to attend the European Council summit in December. The EU and India have concluded negotiations on a trade deal but haven’t signed it yet. Could this be the moment? Great scoop to close the week by @zoyashef
politico.eu/article/indian-p…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
In his latest Declassified column, @pdallisonesque is launching a competition to find the most spineless creature in Europe.
It is open to all cowardly politicians and also actual invertebrates.
politico.eu/article/a-lack-o…
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This week's Declassified column has a joke about Proust in it, which makes the ratio of dick jokes to highbrow literature gags I've done 5000:1
politico.eu/article/politics…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
French MEP Manon Aubry wrote on social media yesterday that she was in hospital after being bitten by a viper.
She is not the only politician to have been attacked by an animal.
@pdallisonesque recalls some of those cases in his Declassified column 👇
politico.eu/article/snakes-o…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
Scoop: Andy Burnham engaged with messages from somebody impersonating one of Donald Trump’s closest advisers, four officials say
The PM swapped several messages with someone posing as White House chief of staff Susie Wiles before becoming suspicious the contact was phoney
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Paul Dallison retweeted
Brussels is now emptier than Donald Trump’s loyalty card for the salad bar.
So @pdallisonesque asks: Should the EU work through August, just in case there’s a major crisis?
Read his latest Declassified column 👇
politico.eu/article/31-days-…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
FIFA is moving toward further monetizing football.
In his latest Declassified column, @pdallisonesque asks whether politics could be next to fall victim to greed 👇
politico.eu/article/football…
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.,..and all is well in the world (kinda), as there's new @TeenageFanclub music
piped.video/watch?v=D6d_Fh91…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
What if Britain’s Nigel Farage and France’s Marine Le Pen starred in a blockbuster about taking on Brussels?
@pdallisonesque took the liberty of writing the script in his Declassified column 👇
politico.eu/article/le-pen-a…
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Von der Leyen and Costa gifted guns by Erdoğan at NATO summit politico.eu/article/von-der-…
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Paul Dallison retweeted
Fundamental difference between US and UK approaches to sport is that in the US they want the best teams to win every round and meet in the final and in the UK we want the number one team to get knocked out by some part time farmers who play their matches on a cabbage patch.
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This week's Declassified column @POLITICOEurope looks at the French far-right's new enemy: a teenage boy with a water pistol
politico.eu/article/marine-l…
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