I wrote this for Bill, the original punchline was "If you have sperm more than six years old, you might want to EMPTY THE JAR" -- Bill said it was awful, ordered me outside, and made me dig a hole deep enough to be my grave and stare at it for the rest of the day
According to a Swiss study, Hantavirus can survive in sperm for up to 6 years. If your sperm is more than six years old, see a doctor. You might be married.