Your model isn’t proprietary, your pitch deck will barely be noticed, and you’re not nearly as contrarian as you tell people.

Fuck. Look, man. I just need a little help here. Just a little subsidy to get me through the week, and I'll be good. Alright? Just this once. I'll get my shit together and I won't ask again, I promise. I mean, jesus christ man, fuck. It's not much, and you can spare it. I'm close to being done with this shit, I swear. Just subsidize demand once more, and we'll be straight. Yea...I know, I've said this before, but I'm serious now. Me and Amber Lyn, we got a good thing going and just need a little something to get us over. No man, you don't get it. Just give the kids 50k. Home prices won't adjust, so it will really make a difference. Help us stay on our feet. Goddamnit man, this is all we got, just bail us out this one more time! Cut the price? Fuck you! Do you hear yourself?! That's not the help we need. That won't work. We need real help bro. Just give out some cash for us.

You want me to wear a mask in a bar? On stolen land?

How I explain every retrade

Playing 4D chess by using Kalshi to bet on the collective net worth of Kalshi users declining.

Broker: Yea, the T12 is rough, but if you look at the T3/T1.. Me:

Any lenders on here willing to share their loan approval checklist? Could be agency, bridge, bank, lifeco, etc. Doesn’t matter. Specifically interested in what docs you need ahead of rate lock or term sheet.

Rent control is the creation of specific affordability at the expense of general affordability. Vote for whatever you want, but understand the trade.

Cold-call advice for young commercial brokers. Always reach out with something of value. - A creative read on recent legislation - A breakdown of pending legislation - Introduction to a potential investor - New construction method or trend you've been watching - A potential public sector partner - Insight on a complex or high-profile recent sale that is in my market and you think I'd care about. The list goes on, but my point remains. Call me with something of value. I don't say this because "my time is valuable and I'm important"; I say it because what you do is a commodity service. You need to figure out how to differentiate yourself from your competition. Something that helps my business, or relates to it, will do that. Never cold-call someone and say "would you like to sell your building" or "can I give you loan options, we have a great relationship with the agencies." None of that adds value to me. I can get that service from people I already know. So why would I entertain it? In a commodity business, people do business with people they like, or people who add real value. Start with the latter in the hopes of becoming the former.

Just got pitched a vacant deal in a bad market, built in 1979 as a "lease-up opportunity." Thank god the seller got rid of those pesky rent payers so I can implement my own proprietary strategy for attracting...the same tenants...

Hear me out. What if they built some more apartments?

- every pool is "resort style" - good, always felt we needed more podcasts - useful - quiet room to smoke weed - useful - probably useful - dope, grindr is so impersonal anyway - useful

I watch this every year on 9/11. Still remarkable.

Dealing with over-supply in tough neighborhoods

Me (an idiot): I obviously like breakfast sandwiches, but could you make them, say, 4x more expensive? Nantucket restaurant: say no more, chief

- kid A has toy gun, runs around pool playing with it - kid B wants to play cops & robbers - goes to apartment, grabs real gun from parents somehow - kids running around, fake gun and real gun - cops called, thankfully no one was hurt - kid B’s parents pissed we’re evicting them

Is it nice? No Is it in a good market? Sadly, no But will you still be able to make money? Also no

Rule #1: Don't take on recourse debt Rule #2: See rule #1 Rule #3: If you must take on recourse debt, negotiate recourse burn-off when debt yield milestones are hit. Never agree to uncapped liability.

This simply cannot be true. I was assured by women with bangs, and feckless men, that rent control would be good for NYC.

The property is strategically located near a MetroPCS, pawn shop, Burger King, and a store that finances rims.