You cannot be pro life and pro death penalty.

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McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion dollars to find out why families stopped coming. I can save them the 8.5 billion. They took out the playground. The plan, announced Wednesday at investor day. Better food, faster service, new equipment, AI tools, hospitality training, and a bigger push into chicken and beverages. They call it Next. The goal, they say, is making customers feel more comfortable. Wall Street loved it so much the stock fell 5 percent to its lowest since 2022. Over five years McDonald's shares are down 3 percent. Burger King's parent is up 14. The owner of Taco Bell and KFC is up 13. This is not a hamburger problem. This is a McDonald's problem. So let us talk about who used to eat there. Parents. That was the whole business. Parents at 5:40 on a Tuesday with three kids in the back and nothing thawed at home. You did not go for the burger. You went because your kids could run screaming through a plastic tube for 40 minutes while you sat with a coffee and experienced silence. That was the product. The food was the cover charge. The first PlayPlace opened in 1971 in Birmingham, Alabama, and for fifty years it did one job. It made small children demand to go to McDonald's. Then 2020 arrived, every play area in the country closed, and a great many never came back. The equipment came out during a remodeling program named Experience of the Future. The Experience of the Future turned out to be a touchscreen. Their own chief executive said he did not know if ball pits were in their future. Sir, you were not selling ball pits. You were selling forty minutes. So now there is no counter, no playground, and no reason for a seven year old to want to go. A screen, a window, and a bag. And for that we pay prices that require a moment of reflection in the parking lot. For thin, overcooked, oddly uniform pucks that taste like a memory of beef. I did not love them because they were good. I loved them because I was eight and there was a slide. And have you seen the new buildings. The old ones were unmistakable. Red roof, yellow arches, legible from a highway at 70 to a child who could not yet read. The new ones are a flat gray box with a small logo and a drive through wrapped around it. A regional claims office with a fryer. They removed the color, the characters, the counter, and the playground, and then hired consultants to find out why it no longer feels like anywhere. Which is why, when I have to eat fast food, I go to Chick-fil-A. Not for the politics. For the competence. They have led the customer satisfaction index for fast food eleven years running, and average 8.5 million dollars per location against McDonald's 4 million. More than double, while closed on Sundays. Fifty two days a year with the lights off, and still double. A seventeen year old hands you a bag and says my pleasure and means it about 70 percent, which is 70 percent more than a touchscreen has managed. McDonald's is spending 8.5 billion on hospitality training. Chick-fil-A earns 8.5 million per restaurant by just having some. So here is my consulting proposal, free of charge, on behalf of mothers everywhere. Put the playgrounds back. Not a nostalgia campaign. Not a retro cup. The structure. Tubes, slides, a door the kids cannot open from the inside, and a bench where a tired woman can sit. And understand what you are buying, because it is not lunch. A six year old does not know your food is bad. He has no basis for comparison and no functioning palate. He thinks the burger is incredible because he is standing in a castle made of tubes. That is the window. That is the only window you get. You catch them before the taste buds arrive, and thirty years later they drive past your sign, feel something they cannot explain, and pull in anyway. That is not a menu strategy. That is imprinting, and you shut it down in 2020 to save on cleaning. Eight and a half billion dollars for AI tools and hospitality training. Or a slide. 🦋

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🚨 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗭𝗬 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧: Emiliano Martínez has now conceded 10 goals in his first 4 games for Chelsea.

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BREAKING: The Telegraph writes that the leaders of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland will meet in Cardiff tomorrow sign a deal on starting cooperation breaking up the UK. They will demand the right to independence referendum, or in the case of Northern Ireland, on the right to become part of Ireland. After Plaid Cymru routed Labour in the last Welsh election, separatist parties are now for the first time in power in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland at the same time. The three first minister will also meet in Cardiff with Mary Louise McDonald, the President of Sinn Féin and leader of the opposition in Ireland. The new drive for independence referendums comes after UK PM Andy Burnham spoke about what’s needed for a new independence referendum in Scotland and made a parallel to the Good Friday Agreement mechanism in Ireland which requires the UK government to consider a referendum in Northern Ireland if public opinion clearly changes. Previous UK PMs had completely shut the door on a new independence referendum in Scotland, saying that the failed independence referendum in 2014 had closed that issue for decades. If Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland were to leave the United Kingdom, leaving only England, the remaining country's population would decrease by 15.5% and its GDP would decrease by 13.5% compared to the current total United Kingdom figures. It would also create a number of geopolitical and geoeconomic dilemmas: 1. London would lose the physical home of the UK’s independent nuclear deterrent. The UK's entire fleet of nuclear-armed submarines is permanently stationed at HM Naval Base Clyde on Scotland's west coast. There are no alternative deep-water ports in England that are geographically, politically or logistically suited to house nuclear submarines and their warheads within the foreseeable future. 2. Losing control of the GIUK Gap. Geographically, Scotland provides the UK with naval and aerial positioning to guard the North Atlantic and the so-called GIUK Gap (Greenland-Iceland-United Kingdom). It’s a vital maritime choke point for tracking Russian submarine activity entering the Atlantic Ocean from northern Russia. 3. Destruction of the Defense Training Estate. The British Armed Forces require vast expanses of uninhabited land for live-fire combat training. England is too densely populated to accommodate this scale of preparation and the Ministry of Defence relies heavily on the Scottish Highlands, the Sennybridge Training Area in Wales, and the Abercorn facilities in Northern Ireland for multi-domain military training exercises. 4. Loss of North Sea oil and gas. An independent Scotland would get ownership over the vast majority of the current UK’s northern waters, with England losing direct geopolitical control over the bulk of the North Sea oil and gas reserves, as well as massive offshore wind-generation territories located in Scottish and Welsh waters. 5. The emergence of a new "Western Flank" For over a century, the UK has operated under the assumption that its western border is entirely secure. If Northern Ireland reunifies with the Republic of Ireland, and Scotland and Wales depart, the Irish Sea becomes entirely surrounded by foreign nations. While a unified Ireland or independent Scotland would likely friendly Western democracies, they might opt for strict military neutrality (similar to Ireland's current geopolitical stance) rather than joining NATO. This would create a massive security vacuum right on England's doorstep and would require London to reconfigure its military defense plans.