silly ian throwing confetti goes nowhere because it is trapped in a constant battle against the air around it. when you throw something dense like a stone its weight gives it enough momentum to slice through the air without slowing down right away. a tiny featherlight piece of confetti has almost zero mass which means it cannot store any kinetic energy to keep itself moving forward. the moment it leaves your fingers it immediately smacks into millions of air molecules. because confetti is so thin and flat relative to how light it is that air acts like a giant wall of friction creating massive drag that instantly kills any speed you tried to give it. instead of flying straight it immediately surrenders its forward movement to the air currents and gently drifts down to the floor.
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