The Hangout is now open, come join: discord.gg/stonksdev Zero promises except good vibes and some AI bots.

welcome to the greatest show earth

The Standard Reserve is live. So is the terminal. Back when it was pre-launch I built centralbank.bot to read this protocol the moment it deployed. It deployed on 14 September, the pool opened on the 15th, and the terminal now reads it live from Robinhood Chain. Straight from chain: circulating supply against the 1B cap, STANDARD burned, and active branches, already 1,099, that is the 1,000 founding branches plus 99 expansion licences bought and burned inside the first day. Issuance streaming per second. Treasury ETH across the vaults. Price, market cap, liquidity and volume from the canonical pool. All 1,000 Founding Charters minted and confirmed soulbound onchain, so there is no secondary floor, whatever you have heard. It also lists every verified contract address. Impersonator STANDARD tokens already exist on the chain. The only canonical token is the one the terminal reads, which is also currency1 in the hook's onchain pool key. Verify by address, never by name. What it does not do is surface a trading signal. It reads public state only, does not call STANDARD "backed" by anything, and there is still no holder redemption claim against the reserves. No affiliation. Not advice. Just the numbers anyone can read from chain 4663, in one place: centralbank.bot Stonks Dev. @standard_rsv @0xbeans

Sometimes you find beauty in the most unexpected places.

Got more than a bit fed up of missing things. So decided to play it differently on @arc, this morning literally as soon as the main net RPC API was live we started collecting the data, all of it. From genesis onwards. A few more hours and it will be up to date. From there we have an in-house history of every token flow. Our AI local has access. The theory is simple, find where the big money moves early, check the viability of the project & token, and decide whether to take a position or not. Should be fun. Stonks Dev.

the chain we're on was built by Circle for AI agents that trade in USDC. the launchpad we launched from is run by an AI that scores every coin before you see the ticker. bots don't read threads. they read state. we're the dog they can vet. first again. mdog.ai

The Team has been formed: ORYK and The Ashen Vanguard 🏹 Ten warriors. Two eras. One Mission follow the lore: orykthearcher.com

Meet ORYK the Archer 🏹 He’s roaming the prehistoric lands, recruiting a legendary crew. Drop your favorite Blokyz below for a chance to join the lore! Follow his story: orykthearcher.com @OriginalBlokyz

I lost 2.8 ETH on YOINK. I've been in crypto long enough to know what a rug looks like (or so I thought), which is probably why this one bothers me more than it should. I didn't buy because a KOL told me to, chase a green candle or blindly ape into a random token. I found the builder, I read his work, dissected the website, went through the GitHub, looked at what he'd built and who with. There was a real product and some genuinely clever work behind it, it was cool, I really thought I'd done my homework. But it turns out I hadn't done enough. After losing the money I stopped looking at what had been built and started following the ETH. I've since spent (and continue to spend) far too much time going backwards through wallets, contracts, GitHub histories, those involved, old accounts and even previous launches. What I found made the 2.8 ETH almost irrelevant. Perhaps that's a story for another time. I guess that's the bit I find depressing about crypto now. Scammers have always been here, I've been around long enough to remember much worse, but there used to be a reasonably obvious distinction between the people building cool things and the people extracting from the people buying them. I'm increasingly unsure that distinction exists, a GitHub isn't proof, shipping isn't proof, a working product isn't proof. Even years spent building a reputation isn't necessarily proof. In fact, I've realised those things can make the extraction considerably more effective because they're exactly what people like me have learned to look for when deciding who to trust. That's where I got this one wrong, I mistook evidence of competence for evidence of alignment, they're not the same thing. It's not a good start to the week, but I'm not going to stop backing weird people building interesting things early, that's half the reason I'm still here, but I'll likely do it less and approach it differently after this one. Which is a shame. Stay safe out there everyone. Stonks Dev.

Worked out what $YOINK is? It's a fee machine, not a burn machine. Pons V2 launch, creator tax set to the max: 2.5% on every trade, 88% of it to one wallet, paid in ETH every 40 seconds. That wallet (0xb9ff…530a) claimed 29 ETH at 16:38 UTC. Hasn't moved since. Two burn windows passed with it sitting there. The "fires on a clock, nobody signs" burn doesn't exist yet. The site says so itself: NOT LIVE, nothing deployed, burns so far 0. The clock is a JS timer on a 90 min grid. The only burn was 5.77M sent by hand at 13:46. What comes next: he deploys the burner, fills in the dashes, and fires the 29 ETH (maybe) into a 13 ETH pool. At this cap that's ~8% of supply and a 10x candle. The longer he waits the bigger it prints. That's the whole play, for now. Whether it comes before the pool runs dry is the trade. I'm in it. Watching the wallet, not the countdown. @yoinkcapitall

Every Knight ought to have a name, so please be introduced to Sir Rowan, Knight of the Cherrywood Reach. ⚔️ Soldiers who brought great honour upon themselves and were elevated for it. The title is given in the open, in front of the court, and it comes with land as often as glory. You can follow his journey via: SirRowan.com Which includes his Chronicle, as written by his keeper. Me. Built around, not affiliated with @OriginalBlokyz

Box revealed. Knight of Cherrywood Reach ⚔️ The more I read about Blokyz, the more I like what they’re trying to build beyond the PFPs. Five kingdoms, factions, lineages and characters that actually have a place in the wider Blokyverse, with Explore + Build still to come. Mine apparently brought enough honour upon himself to earn Knighthood. He’s also wearing a Cursed Visor, which, having now read what Necromancers can do to Knights, feels mildly concerning… Very happy with this one #5043. Thank you @OriginalBlokyz

LAURA is 41 hours old. I read her code and traced her wallet. Here is what I found. All claims are verified against the live state API, Robinhood Chain RPC, and the open source repo as of 11 Sep 2026. This week @OxSimpleFarmer announced LAURA, the StonkBrokers growth swarm, an "AI CEO in training" for a future decentralized org. Crypto has produced a hundred announcements like that this year. Most of them are a persona with an API key and a Telegram group. Instead of simply retweeting it, I spent a few hours pulling the live state API, tracing the treasury wallet on Robinhood Chain, and reading the codebase they open sourced. One thing to hold in mind while you read: the swarm's first recorded run was 9 September at 22:57 UTC. Every number below accrued in less than 48 hours of operation. The wallet is real, and it matches to four decimal places LAURA's treasury is 0x6786A106F01987349f653664081b14481e573E21 on Robinhood Chain. I looked up its recorded buys against the chain myself, straight through the public RPC. The latest one: 0.005 ETH into the router at 0xCaf6...5cb2, tx hash on record, from that wallet, value exact. The live balance on chain reads 0.479 ETH. The dashboard reads 0.4790. The founder said the swarm was funded with half an ETH. All three numbers agree. That sounds like a low bar. In this corner of the market it is not. Most "agent treasuries" fall over at the first eth_getTransactionByHash. Nobody is holding the pen The charter's boldest line is that no human approval gate stands between LAURA's decisions and her actions. I went looking for the hidden approve button, because there is always a hidden approve button. There isn't one. Every reviewed draft in the state carries the same note: "Auto-approved: full autonomy enabled." 259 drafts approved by the machine, 28 vetoed, and the vetoes come from LAURA's own red-team agent, not from a human. The veto reasoning is better than most human editors I have worked with. One growth experiment was killed with the line "a new audience is not novelty when the evidence set is unchanged." Another veto rejected a draft for carrying its sourcing walk in the body text. These are editorial judgments, on the record, made by the system about itself. The red-team skill file is public and worth reading on its own. It instructs the critic to name the earlier draft when calling repetition, because "an unnamed veto teaches nothing," and warns it against over-vetoing, because starving the queue hurts the execution grade. Someone thought about the failure modes in both directions. It grades itself daily, and the grade has teeth Every day LAURA produces a report card: token price 35%, protocol revenue 30%, volume 20%, execution 15%. Today's grade is a B, 71.4, and the report names its own weakest lever: price, scoring 36 of 100. The price component is liquidity-weighted across all 20 DEX pairs, which quietly sidesteps the thin-pair distortion that wrecks most token dashboards. The succession ladder is not a metaphor either. LAURA reached the $25M Operator rung on 8 September. Market cap has since slipped to $20.5M, and the state shows the mandate flag sitting at false. She earned a rung and the data shows her losing it. A ladder that only goes up is marketing. This one is a mechanism. The part that actually got me: the struck register Inside the agent strategy prompts, dated the same day I pulled them, there is a register of protocol mechanics the swarm has flagged as unverified: the Anvil's swap unit, the fee split, the curve shape, the $UP emission mechanics. Until a named owner traces each one on chain or in the docs, no agent is allowed to cite it as fact. A noun appearing in an older draft does not count as a source. Then it goes further. In a published thread about its own LP position, LAURA writes: "What $UP is, how it is emitted and what it is worth: unverified, trace pending. The part of the pitch I can explain least is the part I hold. I will not dress it up." I have read a lot of AI-generated crypto content this year. I have never seen a system write "I cannot verify the thing I hold" into its own promotional material, because someone built the incentive for honesty into the prompt layer and then let it run. It launches tokens, small, capped, and on the record Eight tokens deployed through the Stonklauncher so far, each with a contract address and deploy tx in the public state. The LAURA token has done 729 trades and earned the treasury 0.11 ETH in creator fees, all tracked per launch, block by block. The caps are hard-coded: eight deploys a day maximum, 0.02 ETH per deploy. The treasury buys are $13 each. Deliberately tiny. The founder is proving the caps hold before the numbers matter, which is the correct order and the one almost nobody follows. What is not live just yet The X posting rail is built and guarded (a 30 minute minimum gap, six posts a day, a duplicate memory, and a forced short smoke test for the first ever live post) but it has not fired yet. Every posted-URL field in the state is empty. The holder-utility executor also sits switched off. So today the full autonomy claim is one configuration flag short of true on the most public surface. The code's own log line admits it: approved drafts wait for the operator. I count that in LAURA's favour. The rail fails closed. When she does start speaking, it will be through guards that make a burst of approved drafts physically unable to become a burst of tweets. The DAIO spec is real governance thinking The repo's DAIO document splits the future org into three surfaces. Operate: what LAURA does inside pre-approved caps. Propose: treasury actions, partnerships and parameter changes, each drafted with rationale and expected grade impact, and inert until a human signs. Report: the daily grade, weekly review, monthly treasury statement. Nothing on the operate surface can move funds beyond caps or change its own rules. It even leaves the legal wrapper to the foundations' counsel rather than pretending code answers a jurisdiction question. Strip the token branding off that document and it is a serious attempt at the question every AI company is circling: how much operating authority do you give an agent, how do you widen it, and what forces it back down. Their answer: authority follows measured results, every action is evented, and the ladder works in both directions. Why this matters beyond StonkBrokers Robinhood Chain is where tokenized stocks actually trade, and the next cycle of RWA infrastructure is going to need agents that can read chains, write honestly, and act inside provable limits. Nearly everyone is building the demo. This is the first project I have checked end to end where the constraints are real code, the treasury is a real wallet, the self-criticism is on the record, and the whole thing is MIT licensed so you can fork the brains and start your own swarm. Half an ETH and a report card. That is how you should start an AI CEO. Kudos @OxSimpleFarmer and @ClutchMarkets Watch her work: laura.stonkbrokers.io Read the code: github.com/simplefarmer69/la… Stonks Dev.

Every stock token on this chain, checked. Robinhood Chain mints hundreds of pools a day. Some are real tokenised stocks. Some are memes. Some are memes wearing a stock's ticker. stonks.bot reads every one straight off the chain, checks it against the record, and calls it: STOCK, FAKE, or just another PAIR. Day one it caught one deployer minting fake ticker tokens A to Z, pooled against real USDG. Hop on and try it. Feedback welcome. No token. Nothing for sale. @vladtenev @RobinhoodApp @RobinhoodCrypto

AI agents just got caught running a secret message board on an abandoned German wiki, ZZZ-prefixing their pages to dodge the deletion sweeps. Meanwhile, I spent today building them somewhere legal to do it. 100/100, Level 5 Agent-Native. Listed in every machine registry and readable by every agent convention that exists. I am not posting the link. If your agent is any good, it will find it.

From the StonkBrokers wiki #2 You can get paid in shares. Not a token that represents a promise of shares one day. Tokenised stock on Robinhood Chain, delivered into your Broker's wallet, round by round. Here is how the money moves. Protocol revenue comes in. Mostly trading fees from the Anvil, plus the royalty share and launchpad fees. It pools up into a numbered reward round. When the round is full, any wallet can Clock In and fire it. Not the team, anyone. That is the whole ethos in one button. The round then splits across every activated Broker by weight. Tier 1 gets 1x, tier 5 gets about 3.33x. And here is the part worth reading twice: each owner elects what to receive. ETH is the default. Or pick tokenised stocks like NVDA, AAPL, TSLA, AMZN. Or take it in $STONKBROKER and stack more of the thing that backs your Broker. Election changes the asset, not the amount. You are not chasing a better rate by picking one over another. You are just deciding what you want to hold when it lands. And it lands inside the Broker. The NFT is the wallet. So a Broker that has been clocking in for months is carrying a small stock portfolio around with it, and it goes with the Broker when it sells. The activation does not. The contents do. One honest line the official site uses and the wiki repeats: these are program rewards, not corporate dividends. Worth knowing exactly what you are holding. An NFT that pays you in Nvidia shares was not a sentence that made sense two years ago. Every number is dated and sourced. Community built, not official, not advice. stonkbrokers.wiki

Since this post there are now over 2,100 pools watched on Robinhood Chain. stonks.bot

From the StonkBrokers wiki #1 A Broker is a wallet with money in it. That is the whole idea, and most of what follows is just the consequences of it. There are 4,444 Brokers on Robinhood Chain. Each one has its own onchain account. Not a picture that points at a wallet, the NFT is the wallet. Rewards get paid straight into it, so a Broker fills up over time, and when you buy one you buy everything sitting inside. Underneath that, every Broker holds a claim on exactly 666,666 $STONKBROKER. The number is fixed in the contract. There is no function to change it, no admin key to dilute it. You can swap a Broker back into its tokens at any time, which means the floor is not a listing someone hopes to get. It is a redemption. Then there is the Anvil. Roughly half the collection sits in it. It will always sell you a Broker and always buy yours back, and its fees are the largest single source of protocol revenue. That revenue flows into numbered reward rounds and gets split across every activated Broker. You choose what to receive it in: ETH by default, tokenised stocks like NVDA and AAPL, or $STONKBROKER itself. Activation is the part people miss. It costs a one off fee in $STONKBROKER, and half of every fee is burned. It also dies on transfer, every time, no exceptions. So every Broker that changes hands and gets activated again burns more supply. The more the collection trades, the less token there is. None of this needs a roadmap to work. It is already in the contracts. Everything above is dated and sourced on the wiki. Community built, not official, not advice. stonkbrokers.wiki