UK air travel is a soul-destroying affair. There are few bargains anymore - just layers of hidden costs. Terminals are overcrowded, dirty and depressing. Fake restaurants. Queue to get in. Scan the QR code to order overpriced slop. People sleeping on the floor. Game is gone.

Weather is getting a bit fierce again. Far from the sea these days, but much higher up - a different kind of storm.

I'm not a meteorologist, nor am I a vet, but I can confidently say that the weather outside is dog shit.

Philomena: Some people have been writing PHP for over 20 years. Is that because it's particularly difficult to finish? Expert: No, software is constantly evolving. Philomena: So they've been writing the same website for 20 years? Expert: No, different projects. Philomena: Have they tried finishing one before starting another? Expert: That's not how software development works. Philomena: My mate Paul spent 20 years building a shed. Turned out he was just an alcoholic. Expert: Right. Philomena: Is PHP like that?

My stepdad (Navy) taught me a bunch of these, and I still live by them.

I’ve drawn you a picture of what a hamster thinks about

Turning off a whole load of lame-ass features to make Outlook usable again...

For the comments...

Brexit means British votes mean something again. Don't throw that away.

"It's probably fairest if we just use alphabetical order." ~ Aaron Aardvark

"We don't hate anybody." "Well you should. Makes life more fun." Truly the French spirit. The Peace of Westphalia of 1648, recreated in a comedy sketch from the BBC program The Nearly Complete and Utter History of Everything (1999).

It's time we got rid of the "Accept cookies" button and enforced some sensible defaults instead.

FROG is CRIME

Anyone got any "early release scheme" enrichment in their neighbourhood?

There is an adorable puppy in this cafe. But it's a black Labrador though. Do I need to tell the authorities?

Today I had a cheese and pickle sanger, augmented with mayo and Chipsticks. It was absolutely incredible.

A lot of my followers really like Halloween *a lot*. 🎃

Nothing hits like "It's a sin"

I know the woman who invented Scampi Fries. Follow me for more nonsense that is inexplicably true.