An investor once pressured me to meet him at a hotel at night.
I said no. I asked if we could meet during the day, at a coffee shop or in an office.
He replied: āIf youāre serious about this, youāll meet me on my terms.ā
Thatās just one of many moments Iāve stayed silent aboutāuntil now.
As a female founder, Iāve faced harassment and dismissiveness more times than I can count.
Iām not sharing this to portray myself as a victim. Iām sharing it because silence only protects the behavior. And because I know Iām not alone.
Since starting my company, Iāve experienced:
- An investor who texted me late at night while drinking, saying he missed meāand asking whether I āshow enough skinā in my party outfits, after a single coffee meeting about business.
- One who asked, āHow many white guys have you been with for your English to be this good?ā
- Another who interrupted me mid-sentence while I was sharing an important partnership update to say, āBring your pretty friends to my island next time.ā
- One who told me, āYouāre too pretty to be a founder. Just be an influencer,ā and then showed me photos of women online wearing very little, suggesting I could do the same.
- An investor who said he kept forgetting I could codeābecause I ādonāt look like someone who can.ā
- A founder I distanced myself from after multiple uncomfortable invites, who recorded and took photos of me without my consent. When I got upset, he said I was missing out on funding opportunities because he couldāve introduced me to investors.
- Another founder who made an unwanted sexual advance the first time we met. When I ignored his repeated messages, he told me he hoped my startup would fail.
These arenāt just awkward moments. Theyāre degrading. Theyāre exhausting. And to say they havenāt taken an emotional toll would be a lie.
I donāt want to be objectified, or reduced to an image these men create in their minds.
I hope we build a culture where this behavior is no longer tolerated. One where female founders donāt have to brace themselves before every investor meeting. One where we feel safe at work, at networking events, and in every room where decisions are made. One where competence isnāt overshadowed by appearance. One where boundaries are respectedāwithout needing to be justified.
To be clear: These experiences do not reflect the majority. Iāve been fortunate to meet far more incredible, kind, and principled investors and founders than not.
But until this kind of behavior ends, stories like mine need to be heard too.