i fear i was born cynical bc when my mum read me this myth as a child, my first thought was that orpheus turned back bc poets always kil| what they love to make it immortal. he loved eurydice but he loved the pain of losing her even more.

people still crying nowadays over the ending of normal people, but i think there’s something hopeful about two people meeting and making each other’s worlds bigger, even if they aren’t meant to inhabit the same one forever. they may not share a destination, but they will always be part of how the other found their way.

i don’t think it is. the love story is essentially about fleabag learning to love herself. not her and the priest, not her and claire, not even her relationship with her father. it’s about learning to stop retreating into an audience whenever life becomes too intimate, and to finally be present in her own existence. that’s why she walks away from us at the end. bc we were the ones she kept turning to instead of fully participating in her own life.

how do you even move on from a film like la bola negra?

anxiety will have you googling shit like “can i check books out at the library”

just left the cinema. watched hamlet. i feel like i lost someone i’ve never met.

i wonder how people moved on from hamnet so easily when i’m still stuck on how agnes resented will for having somewhere to put their grief, while she had to keep living inside the place where it happened. she had to encounter its absence in every room, every ordinary morning, every little thing their child would never get to do again.

notice how the priest doesn’t say “i might fall in love with you.” he says “i’ll fall in love with you” and notice how he’s not afraid of the physical act itself. he’s afraid of what intimacy will awaken in him

days, months, years will pass and i’ll still be here talking about how fleabag and the priest had to grieve something that never really got to exist. a whole future they could almost touch but never actually live.

girl who woke up and immediately thought of La Bola Negra and started crying again

my mind keeps going back to this scene in la bola negra. idk how many people know this, but saint sebastian has long been associated with queer vulnerability, persecution and martyrdom. and then there’s sebastián, surviving by climbing his fallen statue, placing his hands against the very arrows that wounded the saint. almost as if those who were once punished for existing could still, generations later, leave something behind to help someone else find their way out.

friendly reminder that every fiber of your being carrying the entire universe within.

“we’re human beings, not human doings”

perhaps the title normal people is deliberately ironic bc none of us really knows what we’re doing. we are all carrying things nobody else can see, making decisions with the limited understanding we have, trying to become people we can live with. and maybe the ordinary human experience is not knowing how to be human at all, and trying anyway.

i’ve always found it significant that connell was so often portrayed at the edges of rooms, listening rather than speaking, observing rather than participating. as though he was physically present in his own life but never entirely convinced he had the right to take up space in it. i wonder if that wasn’t one of the most subtle visual expressions of his depression. x.com/gyussance/status/16566…

thinking about this scene in la chimera where arthur realizes that some things belong to the earth more than they could ever belong to the living. these objects weren’t necessarily lost. they were placed somewhere, for someone, with a meaning we may never fully understand. x.com/notself/status/2004008…

watching fleabag is funny until you realise that we weren’t just watching her life. we were the presence she kept retreating to whenever she couldn’t bear to live it. and that’s what makes the ending so powerful: we lose our place in her life precisely bc she is beginning to find her place in it. x.com/pegueoalicate/status/2…

rewatching normal people as self care not self harm, if thats even possible

normal people was such a hard watch for me bc it made me realise that people don’t always leave bc they stop loving each other. sometimes they leave bc they haven’t yet learned how to remain somewhere without feeling that they are taking up too much space