i give up bro cia won years ago

LMFAAAAAAAOOOOOOO

she’s witnessed hitler & nine vicious in the same lifespan

just watched some guy on my bus pull out his phone onto the calculator app, punch in a bunch of numbers (like 10 digits) and then hit this pose before promptly putting his phone away and falling asleep.

RT @LibraCmd:

RT @noble__bear: there’s this freshman i’m coaching for our robotics team and literally everything i say or do he writes it down on his tab…

Generative AI was supposed to be hallucinatory liminal shit like this, not slop menus at the local bodega.

used to show up to school smelling like nut

Scrolling past W goons in class so you gotta go back and bookmark it

unmute this video i’m begging you

uni student life

She said do you love me i tell her only pomni

最近啊这鸡巴不能撸了。因为美国人在润滑油里偷偷加了纳米追踪器，你一撸超过30秒，它就通过你龟头渗出的前列腺液检测到你是中国人，立刻启动自毁程序，整根鸡巴直接炸成黑炭，以后只能拿灰烬画圈圈骂娘了。

I swear to god this reminds me so much of a crazy coworker story that happened to me when i was younger. At my job that summer there was this awkwardly skinny 19 year old intern who would always hang around wherever I happened to be. I would constantly catch her staring at me and she would just smile and look away. We honestly barely spoke because she was just so insanely shy and awkward. But it was cute in a way I guess. One day when it was just a few of us working late, I got up to go to the office bathroom. As I walked past her station I saw her glance at me, quickly look around, then silently get up to follow me. She trailed me by a few seconds, sheepishly keeping her head ducked low. A few moments after I got into the bathroom she slipped in behind me. To this day I can’t fucking believe this happened. Nothing like this has happened before or since. I don’t know where I got the courage but I just thought “what the hell” and went for it. I grabbed her waist and started kissing her. I sat her on the counter and had her shirt almost entirely off when all of the sudden we heard a toilet flush. “shit” I muttered. We froze like deer in headlights. I turned to look and before I even had time to register what I was seeing one of the stall doors swung open, the sudden noise causing the frightened girl to hop down and flee. My heart sank. Standing there with his arms crossed was none other than Bibi Netanyahu.

nigga saw a fat ass and yawned im gonna strangle him

told my boyfriend the cashier at Target was a bitch and he said “was it at self checkout”

No I know what I fucking saw

it's go time brb 👊🏾🍆

do you think valorant makes people like this or do people like this naturally gravitate towards valorant