This is what my wife gets up to when I leave town...

I’d probably stay still until he wakes 😂

Being a co parent is exhausting .

You're about to make a sandwich, and you have two slices left. You pull out this slice of bread. What are you going to do?

🚨 BREAKING: It has just been revealed that President Donald Trump has a considerably *higher* approval rating at this point in his 2nd term than Barack Hussein Obama and George W. Bush. The attacks have failed.

A hard truth: Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how kind or authentic you are. Stop shrinking yourself to fit into spaces you’ve already outgrown.

Funny how ADHD never sends a check but always sends the bill: late fees, forgotten subscriptions, the free trial you swore you'd cancel 🙃

I don't care if you smoke weed in public, just cover your mouth when you cough I don't want your germs in my face.

His name is Utum Godswil. 😂 Instead of him to concentrate on his career and safe his team from relegation, he came as a friend. Funny enough ehn, this guy hasn't won a single game ever since they allowed him in @EnyimbaFC . 😂 I will drop all evidence against him soon!!

Idk why people ask me for these insane favors but idk, Im proud of my response. I probably was too soft considering his rude ass reply but I’m not in need and don’t have no reason to be mean Lol.

relationships be so peaceful when y’all ain’t in each other face 24/7😂😂😂

add and autism is over diagnosed? for decades, neurodivergent people, particularly women, girls and ethnic minorities, have been overlooked and underdiagnosed. now that awareness is improving, suddenly we're concerned about overdiagnosis? an increase in diagnoses doesn't automatically mean overdiagnosis. why are we more concerned about people receiving a diagnosis than those who've spent their lives struggling without one?

I just wanted some weed 😭

Before your company can make a billion dollars it should be required to have no workers qualifying for SNAP

A text conversation I had the day I was supposed to go sign new hire paperwork

Sometimes I spend so much time preparing to do a task that by the time I'm ready, I've used up all the energy I needed to actually do it. The planning, the mental rehearsals, the imaginary scenarios… and then the task itself is still sitting there, untouched. lmao I know some of you have a story for this one.

She literally explained the difference between dating intentionally and wasting someone’s time, and he still made it about himself 😭

RT @aqee_sofine: My first match after deciding to put myself out there again. Yeah, I might be done already 😂

if Jay-Z performs "99 problems" you'll see me in the crowd like this

Man gets sucker punched outside of night club.