Find me on YouTube! That’s where I’m doing my stuff nowadays. youtube.com/Danoverhere
NYC, NYC
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- Following 157
- Followers 316
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Stinky Chicken is a dish. #Botato is a movement.
@JustinMcElroy @travismcelroy @griffinmcelroy @MBMBaM
I hope this helps the cause.
youtu.be/MHNIJUQjhEY
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My elderly cab driver’s talking about how old people drive slower because the government makes their GPSs load slower, and frankly I’m just grateful I’ve made a new nest friend.
Cheeto’s slogan used to be “Dangerously Cheesy!”
Which is admittedly better than,
“We’ve ruined your hands.”
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“Listen, we can’t give Black Panther a Best Picture nomination.
Best Picture nominations are for movies about Fish People and toys that come to life, when you’re not looking."
--The Academy of Golden Naked Men
#BestPopularFilm
comicbook.com/marvel/2018/08…
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Fuck.
I just accidentally called my Mom,
“Fourth Grade Teacher.”
I’m so embarrassed....
All the kids are laughing at me....
I’m going to ask my school if I can switch families.....
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Comedian tells joke.
Comedian tells story about Fake Person who once complained about that joke after a show.
Comedian DESTROYS Fake Person with more joke.
Now, Entire Audience knows Comedian a super cool rebel, who don’t even care.
Entire Audience does the sex to Comedian.
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Last night a comedian opened up their set by saying,
“My wife divorced me.”
By the end of his first joke, we were all like,
“Good for her.”
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Dani Ahrens retweeted
Stand Ups Improvise TED Talks returns with @RyeBreadHere hosting:
@DanAhrens
@ADookie
@shutupmay
@missckc
& more as they wing their way through REAL TED Talks!
ow.ly/ERbm30iHqem
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I heard somewhere that (in America) one car crashes every two minutes.
We should probably get that one car off the road, right?
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🎶Kuuuuurt Cobain.
You probably think this song is about you.
Kurt CObain (Kurt Cobain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you, don't you!? Don't you!? (Don't you!?)🎶
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Dani Ahrens retweeted
The @Argonfritz Comedy Film Festival returns tonight with hilariously weird short videos by:
@DanAhrens
@w_mcc
@csgersbeck
@heyjennyyoung
& more at 7:30pm!
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Whenever I look in a mirror nowadays, I'm like,
"Wow! You're looking good!"
And my mirror's like,
"We must KILL the Spider-man! Go for his HEART!"
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Baby Boomers:
"I am shocked these Millennials share such personal details on the internet."
Also Baby Boomers:
"Let's collect all our phone numbers & home addresses in a giant book, and distribute them to phone booths everywhere, so just ANYONE could find my house, whenever."
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This one time I saw a comedian kissing his mom on the lips, and I was like,
"Jeez! Do you tell jokes, with that mouth?
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