For those contemplating a detox or cleanse in the new year, here’s a toxicologist’s explanation of how they work: They don’t.

Dec 30, 2022 · 1:25 AM UTC

357
6,348
45,467
3,964,632
Related:
David Juurlink@DavidJuurlink
1 Jan 2022
Not starting a detox today because I have a liver and kidneys.
20
203
38,759
Sort replies: Relevant Recent Liked
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Do you have a fully functional liver and kidneys? You’re cleansing. Ya been cleansed. Cleansed as hell.
8
139
3,986
116,095
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
11
115
3,131
114,200
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
If only we had a couple of specialized organs whose main job it was to cleanse our body…that would’ve been a great design, wouldn’t it??
3
7
468
24,101
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Hello, I am a science journalist, and the replies in this thread are the reason I do what I do. Also, y'all are TERRIFYING.

ALT Eyes What GIF
1
438
15,615
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
What are you talking about. They have a 100% likelihood of working to relieve you of money which is the intention all along.
3
5
422
22,552
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
If anything the real "cleanse" is eating a healthy whole foods diet - with loads of fruits & veg. Most ppl know eating healthy, working out, and getting rest is the way to go. However, its easy for a con artist to sell someone a lie that they want to be true.
7
9
390
63,650
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Well, not if you don't take CBD
1
36
150,548
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Here for it doc!
24
109,086
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
the only thing we can take to cleanse our bodies is Rockefeller medicine pharmaceuticals that we receive from routine wellness checks from our doctors after they bill our insurance per visit after we get our boosters and our flu shots
16
12,925
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
People in this thread are so mad. I mean, how can you allow yourself to celebrate a new year, if you don't torture yourself with the latest fad kale-cayenne-turmeric-snake-oil smoothie/fast for two weeks first?

ALT GIF by YoungerTV

2
148
10,412
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Just fast. Or start eating a better diet.
197
Replying to @DavidJuurlink @mgerrydoyle
Many years ago I had a flat mate who did a “cleanse” that involved eating nothing but raw garlic and drinking very salty water for three days. After 24 hours he was so sick they nearly hospitalised him. 🤣
2
1
123
16,049
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Detoxing can be of the mind and habit. When I detox, it's to cut out processed foods and sugar. You saying that's not helpful?
28
100
82,814
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
IDK. doc. I've had pretty good success with this detox plan I've been using for years - Step 1: have a functioning set of human organs Step 2: repeat
1
1
82
5,076
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I go to Taco Bell once a month.
6
2
53
5,261
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
However bloodletting is a legitimate medical treatment
4
55
59,028
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
or... "they do, but not the way you think" - liver cleansing - as in 'we'll be replacing your liver'
43
7,817
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
May god have mercy to your replies
40
3,199
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
….what are your thoughts on drinking a daily mix of kale, celery, cucumber, green apple, parsley, fresh lemon & ginger?
28
34
51,290
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Detox & cleanse are two different things. Detoxifying my body by cutting out alcohol & added sugar absolutely works.
5
40
13,041
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
The only detox I do is my wardrobe. I donate stuff that don't work for me
2
39
11,224
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I was told, but haven’t verified myself, that the person who started the cleanse craze didn’t have any evidence that it worked and just wanted to get ppl to eat more fruit n veggies.
1
35
9,486
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
? So gut and vaginal health just don’t exist lmao
14
33
40,963
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I plan to be more mentally toxic than physically toxic.🤣🤣🤣
1
1
30
5,486
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I see, it's good to know you've followed and studied every single person who has worked through every possible cleanse program so you can definitively present yourself as the arbiter of all knowledge in this area. You're not.
9
1
17
15,772
Replying to @DavidJuurlink @deray
I did a juice cleanse right after Thanksgiving for 5 days, lost 10 pounds. I have stayed away from processed foods and any crap, I’m down another 5 to date, bringing my total to 15 pounds and still working towards another 25… ITS ON YOU TO ACHIEVE ANY GOAL YOU WORK TOWARDS!
14
20
23,856
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I don’t know man, eliminating sugar for a period of time works for many people
1
21
51,656
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Also, please do Homeopathic “remedies”.
1
13
1,929
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
In fairness, it depends on what you expect to get out of it Great opportunity to eliminate alcohol, caffeine, processed foods, sugar, etc Spending 1 or 2 weeks eating lean, grass-fed protein, whole/healthy vegetables & legumes & guzzling lots of water helps kickstart new habits
14
1,810
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Well hang on are you saying that I shouldn't do dry January??
1
9
13,097
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Could someone PLEASE tell this guy. He's been at it for years selling books and expensive cleanses.
2
12
8,037
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Doesn’t your body do that all on its own???
1
9
1,405
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
I have IBS and tried the Ketogenic diet after Thanksgiving. I lasted 5 days. I was miserable. Maybe I should have kept going. I’ll never know. I was bloated and pissed off. A total joy to be around. My takeaway? Eat food, not too much, mostly plants. And Chardonnay & ice cream.
11
825
Replying to @DavidJuurlink @Jinxy_Minxy
This drives my RN wife up the wall. "Your liver and kidneys do that! That's what they do." Also, smearing protein on your hair by using special shampoos doesn't improve the structural protein strength of your hair.
6
568
Replying to @DavidJuurlink
Well I don't know what a "cleanse" is, nor do I want to, but I stop all alcohol use every January and once my body/brain stops craving it (abt 2 wks) I feel so much lighter and less crabby. So--it does work in that way.
1
11
1,338
Load more