Parody. @nytpitchbot.bsky.social More on Blue Sky than here these days. merch: crazydogtshirts.com/collecti…
- Tweets 82,472
- Following 3,728
- Followers 244,870
- Likes 42,943
Pinned Tweet
Some great new merch dropped on the Pitchbot store. Including these
crazydogtshirts.com/products…
26
40
299
218,448
I have never been a supporter of Donald Trump, but if people I have never met on a social media site I've never been on don't stop saying Latinx, I will have no choice but to hold my nose and vote for him for the fourth time.
7
60
583
20,775
Someone please write a country song called "My Kids Have Measles and I Can't Buy Diesel"
My kids have measles, I can't afford diesel, my country has been humiliated by Iran, and I have explosive diarrhea from a parasite the CDC no longer monitors. But at least now I can go to the lesbian bar without putting on a mask.
57
576
3,943
118,475
My kids have measles, I can't afford diesel, my country has been humiliated by Iran, and I have explosive diarrhea from a parasite the CDC no longer monitors. But at least now I can go to the lesbian bar without putting on a mask.
9
132
1,159
134,402
Whether it's Susan Collins taking thousands of dollars in bribes from a contractor or Troy Jackson throwing a water bottle at someone, both candidates have plenty of skeletons in the closet.
6
56
750
12,446
Times have been tough in this Western Massachusetts town ever since they closed the old pottery studio. So when the lesbian bar promised to ease its mask mandate, they finally had something to cheer about again. But then the owner left for clown college.
11
63
934
30,400
In this Western Massachusetts town, it was a tradition: plate of gluten-free toast, big glass of soy milk, then over to the old lesbian bar for a little N95 time. But now the woke mob is taking all of that away.
12
110
1,787
44,688
Trump's low approval numbers raise new questions about Joe Biden's ability to connect with voters.
12
196
2,453
28,120
NYTPitchbot retweeted
Peggy Flanagan: “I love this state.”
Michele Tafoya: “When I’m at the country club in Florida, everyone tells me they hate Minnesota, and frankly I fucking hate it too.”
Whose perspective will resonate with the average voter come November?
18
29
653
22,337
I have never been a supporter of Donald Trump, but if lesbian bars in towns I've never been to don't ease their mask mandates, I will have no choice but to hold my nose and for him for the fourth time in 2028.
17
201
3,851
67,875
My kids have measles, I can't afford gas, and our senile rapist president is going to allow unregulated AI to destroy our civilization. But a lesbian bar in a town I've never heard of still has a mask mandate. I have never felt more politically homeless.
35
400
3,888
284,355
Minnesota is a shit hole that I’m embarrassed to live in. Here’s why Minnesotans should make me their next senator.
by Michele Tafoya
110
396
5,643
209,349
Whether it's ICE sending a man to prison for distributing anarchist 'zines or the kids at Middlebury heckling Charles Murray, there's been plenty of authoritarian anti-free speech activity on both sides.
6
18
225
9,106
If Republicans are seen as the party of day drinking, doing coke, and sleeping with staffers of both genders while Democrats are the party of recycling and eating your vegetables, guess which party voters are going to pick?
13
43
659
27,957
If Democrats continue to focus on elite issues like the price of diesel fuel instead of on kitchen table issues like chem trails and racial purity, they're going to get walloped in November.
12
272
2,722
42,022
NYTPitchbot retweeted
“Whether it’s Mamdani talking to YouTubers or Trump having reporters’ passes confiscated, both sides are displaying a troubling hostility to the press.”
7
53
467
16,588
