My trust was shattered after a brutal divorce seven years ago, it took me a few years to even think about dating. There were also a couple of the women in the squadron who really thought I should get out there and meet someone... but I wasn’t even sure how that worked. So I did the logical thing and gave them a few pictures and let them set up an account on a dating site. They seemed to have a ton of fun with it, apparently they love playing matchmaker. I didn’t really care to know any details, just pick someone they thought would be a good and let me know when and where to go on a date.
What could go wrong? Apart from hypothetical edge cases like getting drugged and waking up in an ice filled bathtub minus a kidney it was all upside. If it went well then that was great. If it went horribly then I get a hilarious story to tell at work that’s great too. They never did end up getting me any matches but the whole thing was very entertaining. I ended up meeting someone on my own… which is its own hilarious story for another day.
Do first dates make you anxious?
Dating anxiety is normal. The mistake is trying to fight it, because resisting the feeling usually gives it more power.
When you accept the uncertainty, get curious about it, and focus less on trying to be interesting and more on being interested by asking questions and paying attention to the person in front of you, you give that anxiety somewhere else to go.
This doesn’t eliminate the uncertainty, but instead of experiencing it as something to fear, you can begin to experience it as an adventure.