Dad. Friend. American. Veteran⚓️ "Never put GJ on speakerphone." If my reply failed to make you smile please DM for a refund 🚫 NO DMs

Colorado mostly
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How it feels following me just to see the occasional banger reply:
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Its the "when they think it's safe" part I find most infuriating, so thank you for your courage sir.
I'm sure other comedians will join me when they think it's safe
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This might be the biggest "if" I've heard this year.
If the Republican Party is smart, it would turn this into an advertisement for all of the swing districts.
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GJ Flash retweeted
Hey guys, if you're not following .@intelligentfly, please do! Weird, fun, quirky stories that break up the day, and end the cycle of doomscrolling.
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SHE DIDN’T EVEN SHOW UP. Gina Hinojosa was among the Texas Democrats who killed Jocelyn’s Law by skipping the final vote. That bill would have denied bail to criminal illegal immigrants charged with violent crimes. When Texans needed her most, Gina was a no-show. Her priorities are not your family’s safety. Remember that.
When it mattered most, Gina Hinojosa failed Texans. Gina was among the Texas Democrats who killed Jocelyn’s Law -- legislation that would have denied bail to criminal illegal immigrants charged with violent crimes -- by failing to show up for the final vote. Her absence make her priorities clear: when Texans need her, Gina doesn’t show up.
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Trump's 2024 election victory exposed that the democrat party doesn't actually even have any blue states, just a bunch of really big blue sanctuary cities full of illegal immigrants that are voting.
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GJ Flash retweeted
In case you missed it... Republicans (led by @JonHusted) had a bill to lower electricity prices. It passed the House 417-3 - supported by everyone from the Freedom Caucus to the Squad. Democrats in the Senate blocked it. Why? Because they want max pain going into November.
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❤️
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My adoptive father had been in the Corps. He was a rifleman in the last years of Vietnam and killed three men there. He advised against losing myself in useless rumination over who they had been, why they fought, did they suffer, etc. I shot a Taliban my first year in A-stan. It was a clean engagement and he died before we got to his position. The thing I remember most about him was that he wasn't a squirter... he'd held his position and didn't run. I felt no animosity or remorse. He didn't need to fight us, but he'd chosen to and made a good account of himself. We moved on and that was that.
Replying to @Wild_Horse
I’m not a veteran but I can only imagine what being forced to kill someone native to the land in which you’re the foreign operative by a president who doesn’t give a fuck about your existence and whether you live or die then going back to barracks and having the realization of, “Why the fuck am I here” and then, “What the fuck did I just do” and then, “Why the fuck did I have to do it”has to be eternally torturous.
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Came across this again today and it still does the same thing it did in ’72. I got back from Vietnam in a year when nobody wanted to hear about it and the whole country felt like it was arguing with itself in a wet parking lot. Then this song came on the radio... three kids who’d never seen a rice paddy singing about riding a nameless horse through a desert that “felt good to be out of the rain.” That line landed like a brick. The rain, for me, wasn’t weather. It was the whole damn decade: the noise, the questions you couldn’t answer, the people who wanted a name and a story and a position from you the minute you stepped off the plane. The desert in the song wasn’t geography. It was the first quiet place that didn’t demand an explanation. The horse didn’t have a name because it didn’t need one. It just took you somewhere the heat was hot and nobody was asking what you’d done or why you weren’t the same. After nine days you let it run free. That part always made sense. Some things you don’t keep. You just needed the ride. Fifty years later the country is still loud and the rain never really stopped. But every time this comes on I remember what it felt like to want nothing more complicated than sand, a fly with a buzz, and a stretch of ground that didn’t talk back. Anyway. Here’s the song. America - Horse With No Name (1972) (Official Music Video) piped.video/2OTc4ZOsSSI?si=6bJF… via @YouTube
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GJ Flash retweeted
Legacy media REFUSED to show you a SINGLE SECOND of President Trump's speech and historic state dinner with Xi Jinping tonight at the White House So here's the ENTIRE thing, from start to finish, with translations for Xi's speech DO NOT LET LEGACY MEDIA KEEP YOU IN THE DARK
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I never ask, but please pray for my son. He's going through a very difficult divorce, and his ex somehow managed to file a restraining order on him without his knowledge, and then had him arrested for violating the order he didn't know he had. She got the order, and then invited him over to see his kids, and then had him arrested. They're making him spend the night in jail until he sees a judge, and jail isn't a good place for him. He's a good man, his ex is a reptile. Prayers and good vibes are appreciated.
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All of my lawyer mutuals right now:

ALT stfu GIF

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GJ Flash retweeted
“I’m not getting everything I want, so I’m going to ‘teach Republicans a lesson’ by giving Democrats control of the congressional agenda, ensuring I get even less of what I want.” —The lowest IQ people on the right
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Back in 2008 oil damn near hit $148 a barrel and gas was around 4 bucks. Now oil is way lower and somehow we’re still paying more at the pump. You can throw out all the excuses you want, but regular people know when something smells fishy. Something ain’t right.
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Man gas is really expensive, I better vote for the party that flooded our country with tens of millions of illegals, funded the creation of COVID-19 that killed tens of millions, turned the intel agencies on private citizens, mutilated & indoctrinated our children at scale, stole an election, illegally spied on the opposition party/candidate, sabotaged an administration, framed a duly elected president, ignited a color revolution, bankrolled Hamas protests on college campuses and universities, censored Americans, jailed supporters, staged a fedsurrection, locked hands with islamists, and installed a non compos mentis dementia patient as leader of the free world.
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🎆Big media day for me tomorrow (Thursday).🎆 I'm on with my fellow MICI*, @RobManess, on his show "Rob Maness Live" at 1500 Eastern. Rob always has a live link to his show on his X account, so just cruise over there if interested. It's one hour of Deep State-destroying fun, so please join. After an hour with Rob, I'm doing a 90 minute X Spaces hit with @monicaonairtalk at 1730 Eastern. You should be able to join by clicking on the "Live" link on my account or Monica's account. I told Monica I'm open to questions since I don't think I can bloviate by myself for 90 minutes!🤣 Please join, Spaces is easy and simple on X. _____________________ * "MICI" means "Massively Influential Conservative Influencers," and if you are bad at sarcasm, it's an uber-sarcastic label that @KurtSchlichter invented as a way of mocking the hit piece that the Washington Post feebly attempted on the three of us.
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GJ Flash retweeted
🚨 JUST NOW: President Trump SAFELY landed back at the White House on Marine One following his welcome ceremony for Xi Jinping The legacy media flat out REFUSED to cover a HISTORIC moment that hasn't happened in SIXTY YEARS But WE did, right here on X Thank you @RealAmVoice for being FANTASTIC, patriotic partners today 🇺🇸 More to come TOMORROW!
🔴 LIVE: President Trump hosts a WELCOME CEREMONY for Chinese President Xi Jinping Who the hell knows if legacy media is going to continue FAILING to fulfill their duties for the American people We'll do it right here on 𝕏 nitter.net/i/broadcasts/1yKAPwQwo…
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Why do you think they want to enshrine mail-in voting? Because it's easier to cheat. Because if Americans showed up to vote in person, and took a good look at all the foreigners they were voting against, there would be a revolution. Because if ICE showed up to those polling places, the news would be there too, and the news would capture a lot of people who don't belong here deciding our fate. They can't have that. You need to vote. Your friends and neighbors need to vote. The alternative is unthinkable.
🚨 BREAKING: Chuck Schumer says the SAVE America Act will "allow #ICE to kick TENS OF MILLIONS of people off the voter rolls" WOW! Schumer just OPENLY ADMITTED voter rolls are PLAGUED WITH ILLEGALS. The quiet part has just been said out loud! And he’s crediting @elonmusk for making it happen 🤣 We ALL KNEW illegals were voting, but now it's confirmed by none other than Chuck Schumer
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WOAH 🚨 1,000 Muslims per day are being registered to vote in Houston, Texas Yes, this is real The Islamic Society of Greater Houston confirms they are registering roughly 1,000 voters a week at mosques across the city of Houston The Muslim leaders say they will defeat Republicans and mobilize their voters for Democrats: “I can guarantee you, if you all go out and vote this time, Muslims’ vote will make a difference in Houston and Harris County” - President Emran Gazi This is the Islamic Takeover of America. Muslims will use the Democrat Party to take over our country and
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