You don’t have to see the road ahead to keep walking.
Sometimes faith is simply sitting in the ashes, not knowing what comes next, and still saying:
“I know that my Redeemer lives.” 🙏
Job understood that kind of faith. So do many of us.
I have been reading the Bible every morning for the last 15 days. I’m doing a 365 day reading plan of the Bible in its entirety.
And lately, Job has been absolutely wrecking me.
I came out publicly as a detransitioner on June 11, 2025. Since then, parts of the life I knew have been systematically torn apart. Relationships. Community. Reputation. Career opportunities. Certainty about the future.
Now, at 44 years old, I find myself standing before a completely unknown path in nearly every facet of my life.
And that is why Job slaps so hard for me right now.
Job gets it.
Here is a man who tried to live rightly. He helped people. He cared for the poor. He defended the vulnerable. He built a life, a family, a reputation.
And then his life was decimated.
He loses his children. His wealth. His health. His standing. His friends sit around explaining to him why his suffering must somehow be his own fault.
Eventually Job is sitting in ashes, scraping his diseased body with broken pottery.
Look at this painting of him.
Job on the Ash Heap, by Jusepe de Ribera.
That face.
I understand that face.
There are moments when a human being can look at everything that has happened and say: I am tired. I have suffered enough. I could lie down here and declare the story over.
After 44 years of my own suffering and loss, I would be lying if I said I never felt that temptation.
I may be strong, but I am human.
And Job was human too.
That is what I had misunderstood about him.
Job doesn’t quietly accept his suffering with some serene smile. He grieves. He rages. He protests. He demands answers. He curses the day he was born.
But then, from the ash heap, comes Job 19:
“I know that my Redeemer lives.”
That line stopped me cold this morning.
Because Job doesn’t say it after everything has been restored.
He says it from the ashes.
He cannot see the next chapter.
He doesn’t know why this happened.
He doesn’t know whether anything will ever be made right again.
He just knows his Redeemer lives.
And maybe that is where faith actually begins.
Not when God explains the plan.
Not when everything works out.
Not when the road ahead finally becomes visible.
But when you’re sitting in the wreckage of the life you thought you were going to have, staring into a future you cannot see, and you decide:
I still believe.
Today’s Proverbs reading drove the point home:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
That is so clear.
And so unbelievably difficult.
I have no idea where this road leads.
But neither did Job from the ash heap.
He couldn’t turn the page.
Neither can I.
So I will live the page I have been given today.
And I know that my Redeemer lives even if I cannot see the road ahead.