Books. Timberwolves. Chicken Wings. Sunshine. ACAB.
Minneapolis, MN
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We’re selling our Warriors tix for Wed. Oct 28th at 7 pm, if anyone’s into it (sorry, these ones aren’t free!). Section 104, Row W, seats 4,5,6. $113/each, have to buy all three. DM, carrier pigeon or text works!
Baby LaMelo for attention 🩷
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I found a super cutie vintage Izod jacket today that’s blue and corduroy with green polka dots and I didn’t realize it until I left that it’s totally in Timberwolves colors!
(The green is darker in person—don’t come at me lol)
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Anyone interested in our Wolves preseason tix for Wednesday? Free! Comment, message, send a carrier pigeon, whatever you want! Section 104, Row W. Three seats!
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Five Comedians You’ve Seen Live
Norm Macdonald
Paul F. Tompkins
Andy Kindler
Louie Anderson
Dave Chappelle
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I just forked out money to fix a dent on my car last week and I went outside today after work and some asshole dented my car AGAIN.
Wtf, universe, leave my car alone. Please.
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I guess I should dig around in my closets more often because I totally forgot that I bought this shirt at a playoff game last year. It still has the tags on it. 😂
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You know what, forget litter mats. Get a rug like this. It works 100 times better than a litter mat!
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Yesterday my kid and I drove 1/2 hr each way to meet @jamessmurray from Impractical Jokers. Can I tell you how I can’t stop thinking about how genuinely kind he was?
I feel like most people err on the side of being jerk faces these days so thanks Murr, you made our day. ❤️
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I went out to my car this morning and found a dent in my car right about my car door. WTF, how does that even happen? Anyway, anyone know of a reasonably priced auto body place near S. Mpls?
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Justin Jefferson had as many touchdowns in this game as he had in all of last season and that’s really something.
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If you don’t randomly run into your neighbors dancing at a Polish festival in NE are you even having a good day?
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It’s his last day of freedom before school starts and he’s reading in the park with me. What a guy.
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I didn’t want to go to the state fair, but I did and, wow, I actually had fun! Got some corn, a Pronto Pup, some Sweet Martha’s, went on the Sky Glider thingy and got these cutie earrings. Next time, the @Timberwolves better have a booth or else…I don’t know. They just should.
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@Hali and his bad case of the shingles prompted me to finally get my shingles vaccines and, holy hell, the 2nd round has knocked me on my assssssss. Send help.
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Happy birthday to me! My kid set his alarm for 7 am to wake up to make me breakfast and then went on one of these dumb swans that I’ve been dying to paddle around on. Anyway, woop, woop!
☀️☀️☀️
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She used her talents to the fullest, lived with immense fucking joy, gave books to millions of kids, donated millions to help others and there is NO one in the world who even slightly disliked her, even a little bit.
What a well-lived life. We should all be so lucky. 💔
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I won the 2026 leadership award today at my job so, Timberwolves org, if you are interested in consulting with me on how to lead, I AM HERE FOR YOU.
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You should’ve just seen me literally jumping up and down like a clown with excitement over this Christmas Day game.
This is a dream come true!!! Albeit kind of a lame one considering all the dreams I could have, but here we are! 😂
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Tonight at the gym I made FIVE 3 pointers in a row, slammed into my son, fell down and twisted my ankle so badly I thought I was going to puke and got up and walked like a champ.
What I’m trying to say is, if Ant needs someone to fill in for him this year, that person is me!
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Okay, so, the Sixers, huh? I get that the Sixers team will be killer if everyone is healthy, but WHEN HAS EMBIID EVER BEEN HEALTHY? Never, that’s when. Nevvvverrrrr.
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Because I wasn’t invited to the wedding, I decided to celebrate Ant’s nuptials by buying myself this Wolves cardigan.
You guys, it’s so soft and LeBron is gonna love it when he sees me wearing it!
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I spied this ring at 5:30 am and just got around to posting it now—did Ant really get married, you guys??
Congrats, Mr. Shannon Edwards! 💍
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Live action shot of me and @LibbyEliza1 at the Lynx game tonight, courtesy of @jillyfrknchilly, who was clearly spying on me. Or maybe she wanted to know what I was eating and had to zoom in? 😂
(Cool photo, tho. Thanks, girlfriend!)
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Okay, I’m watching Point Break for the first time ever and I’m wondering if a 15-year-old boy wrote the screenplay because that is the only explanation
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DeMarcus Cousins and LeBron are buds and DeMarcus just said on live TV in front of my eyes that he wants to see LeBron in Minnesota.
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Just sittin’ in my backyard eating leftover Parkway Pizza and getting ready to run through the sprinkler like a toddler while I wait for them to announce that LeBron wants to come and run through the sprinkler with me. ☀️🍕
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I went to the Naz party tonight with my kid, who’s way too cool to be in a picture with me, but I finally got to meet @Kgformvp211 and he was so rad and super kind!
Now I’m going to go watch the Naz video and cry about the handwritten cards he’ll be getting in the mail. 😭😭
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Did you all know that @espn made a whole post on Instagram yesterday around my tweet that’s now at 1.9 million freaking views??
You guys.
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