Sorry about the result yesterday @cheshamutdfc . But on the brightside I managed to clinch the League 1 title yesterday!

Seven years ago today 👀

Calls for a touchline ban for Bielsa or points deduction for Leeds United over Spygate are far too extreme. Just needs a warning from the FA, for the EFL to tighten its rules, LMA to have a quiet word about respect between its members and everybody advised to plant more trees...

The United Kingdom has no doubt about its sovereignty over the Falkland Islands.    Our statement in response to the Argentine General Assembly Statement regarding the Falklands:

Staggered that NATO wasn't mentioned once in that episode. We would have called a NAC asap. #thewargame

Contrary to the opinion of some people, Falkland Islanders have the right to self-determination, which is a fundamental right enshrined in article one of the @UN Charter. The only people who can decide the future of the Falklands are the Falkland Islanders themselves. 🇫🇰🇬🇧

1/ In 2013, Falkland Islanders exercised their right to self-determination and voted decisively to remain a UK Overseas Territory. 🇫🇰🇬🇧 While the right to self-determination is enshrined in the UN Charter, Falkland Islanders have often had to fight for this right. ✅

How can I complain @LNRailway? I was waiting on the advertised platform 2 for the 11.44 train euston. Yet the train pulled into platform 5, despite an announcement. You simply cannot change platform at minutes notice. I have sciatica only made it 'cos people kindly held the door

Wow a whole 2 carriages on the jampacked 17.59 to aylesbury. Thank you @chilternrailway.

There now follows a party election broadcast by the Count Binface Party, And if I do say so myself, it's a banger. #VoteBinface #Clacton

Let me say this very directly. Football does not belong to investors. It belongs to the people who fill the stands and who stand on the touchline week in, week out, rain or shine. The World Cup is not a product. It is the greatest competition in world sport, and it was never anyone's to sell. Dress the deal up however you like. Once you have sold a piece of it, you have sold out. Football belongs to the fans. It always has, and it always will.

We are devastated to learn of the passing of Kevin Keegan. Kevin signed for the club in 1980 as the holder of the Ballon d’Or and brought great joy to fans at The Dell and across the football world. Our thoughts are with his family and friends at this difficult time.

Argentina are an abomination to football. #ESPARG

Let's be clear: that was tactical cowardice. It takes guts to defend deep but more to back yourself to keep going. That Konsa-Gordon sub will live in my head until the Euros. Don't tell us that it will be different if you're going to make exactly the same mistakes.

🏆 ⚽ ⬆️ Promoted again! I just guided AFC Wendover to play-off glory in Non-League A football-chairman.com [Free App]

🏆 ⚽ ⬆️ Get in! I just guided AFC Wendover to play-off glory in Non-League B football-chairman.com [Free App]

🏆 ⚽ ⬆️ We are going up! I just guided AFC Wendover to play-off glory in Non-League C football-chairman.com [Free App]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“Week one of my new job organising the EFL Championship play off final has been a huge success”

Repost if you’d like me to represent the UK at #Eurovision 2027.