A Canadian. A sensitive mouthpiece. A clever dumbass. An ally always.
- Tweets 24,674
- Following 3,916
- Followers 24,078
- Likes 108,173
My dad is out on the pontoon boat fishing with a couple friends, and he’s sending me pictures of everything they’re catching just to piss me off that I’m not there 😂
22
4
166
1,915
Diana retweeted
Nobody appreciates the black sheep in the family, until they need some black sheep shit done.
77
178
1,497
24,791
Some of the guys are working at an old medical building today, and found an old specimen cabinet in the stuff getting ripped out of the walls.
I’m making this one hose off before he comes to check in with me later.
11
2
69
1,310
Just mixed up 6# worth of meat and seasonings, which I’ll make into meatballs tomorrow.
I just don’t have the patience for 120 balls today.
18
7
113
1,586
White sauce and spinach and olives. And the couch. And Talladega Nights. And I’m sure, sleeping.
Have the best night.
21
3
188
2,096
Considering how often I both A) masturbate, and B) eat tacos (not at the same time), I’m considering tattooing TACO TIME across my knuckles.
47
13
370
4,769
Diana retweeted
the hottest girl you know reads books, wears glasses, drinks coffee and cusses like a sailor.
55
472
2,278
73,264
Second flight was cancelled with no options for later tonight, so it’s another king size bed for me in Baltimore, flying home in the morning.
36
3
293
2,914
I’m alive and well and not hung over. I just finished cramming eggs and potatoes in my mouth and I’m on my second coffee.
Have a beautiful Wednesday!
31
6
302
3,074
