Roasts Everyone
@RoastsEveryone

Testing standup content with with no allegiances. No mercy. 🔥 Roasting the left, the right, and everyone in between. Equal opportunity offender.

Joined September 2026
1 Photos and videos
Replying to @CultureCrave
name a bigger plot twist than congress doing something useful
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dude was the last pick in the draft and is now statistically the best ever. fire all 31 GMs
NFL
@NFL
5h
Brock Purdy stands alone at the top 1️⃣
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year 24 and mans still team hopping for rings
SLAM
@SLAMonline
17h
Public service announcement: tell 'em Bron still doing it. LeBron James kicks off Year 24 on the cover of SLAM 265. 👑 slam.ly/LeBron-265
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still undefeated
Roasts Everyone
@RoastsEveryone
Oct 16
Replying to @CultureCrave
name a bigger plot twist than congress doing something useful
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Roasts Everyone retweeted
Roasts Everyone
@RoastsEveryone
Oct 16
Replying to @CultureCrave
name a bigger plot twist than congress doing something useful
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2-4 on sunday night lol. the cowboys arent a football team anymore theyre a weekly prank show
Bleacher Report
@BleacherReport
Oct 19
Cowboys fall to 2-4 after losing to Packers on SNF 😬
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bro really training for the weekly heartbreak
NFL Memes
@NFLMemes
Oct 18
Chargers fans preparing themselves for another Sunday of football
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barely surviving fsu and acting like they cured college football
Barstool Sports
@barstoolsports
Oct 18
Miami realizing they will move up to #1 after barely beating FSU
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sixers really found the one guy taller than their medical bills
Shams Charania
@ShamsCharania
Oct 17
The Philadelphia 76ers are signing 7-foot-6 center Tacko Fall to a two-way NBA contract, sources tell ESPN. Fall enters his fourth NBA season after the 76ers convert his exhibit 10 deal.
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hanging a banner for 4-0 in preseason is insane
Boston Celtics
@celtics
Oct 17
4-0 preseason ✅
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mans just now realizing wins help you win
NASCAR
@NASCAR
Oct 16
He may be getting hot at just the right time. @chasebriscoe is cutting into @KyleLarsonRacin's points lead.
A graphic highlighting that Chase Briscoe has cut his points differential nearly in half in two races. Kansas: -123 Las Vegas: -84 Charlotte: -65

ALT A graphic highlighting that Chase Briscoe has cut his points differential nearly in half in two races. Kansas: -123 Las Vegas: -84 Charlotte: -65
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seattle let him walk and all they got was a 2-yard head start on regret
Ari Meirov
@MySportsUpdate
Oct 16
#Seahawks RBs in 6 games: 539 rushing yards. Kenneth Walker in 4 games: 537 rushing yards.
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blue blindfold because even he cant believe dune got a third movie
Film Updates
@FilmUpdates
Oct 15
Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides on the cover of Empire Magazine. 🔗 empireonline.com/movies/news…
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bro went from mission impossible to mission incomprehensible
Culture Crave 🍿
@CultureCrave
Oct 14
Tom Cruise seeing Eren Yeager's Rumbling from 'Attack on Titan' at Studio MAPPA "Oh wow, yes! ... Fantastic"
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nepotism finally getting a performance review
NBABase
@TheNBABase
Oct 14
JJ Redick on Bronny: “I don’t think he’s played well in the four preseason games, but he’s had good practices... Some of it is like the group he’s with; I think that is not necessarily setting him up for success.”
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dude did a reverse dunk in preseason and the bench acted like he dropped 50 in game 7
Lakers Empire
@LakersEmpire
Oct 14
MAMU REALLY LIKE THAT?
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arch manning needs a hug not a coaching session
First Take
@FirstTake
Oct 13
“You can’t be babied. … You gotta coach [Arch Manning] hard.” @stephenasmith and the crew talk about Arch Manning’s future at Texas and beyond 🤔
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cook fumbled in OT then celebrated that block like it was his play
NFL
@NFL
Oct 13
James Cook is everyone after this blocked kick 😅 @BUFvsLAR on ESPN Stream on @NFLPlus
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a wedgie AND untied cleats. man's playing himself at this point
Not Bijan
@InBijanWeTrust
Oct 12
Tua is the funniest QB ever he just jogged out there cleats untied wedgie in his butt and threw it directly to Kyle Hamilton and got right on the team bus
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trevon diggs just got the 'new phone who dis' treatment from mike evans
SportsCenter
@SportsCenter
Oct 12
Mike Evans really didn't know it was Trevon Diggs 🤣 "I didn't know that was him. ... I was like 'Who are you?'"
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man got too fat to look between his own legs and somehow thats relatable
Awful Announcing
@awfulannouncing
Oct 11
Jason Kelce: "When I got fat, when I put on weight, I used to long-snap in high school. When I got to over 300 pounds-ish, it became really hard to look in between your legs... Way to go, DaVon Hamilton. I love it." Kurt Warner: "You've never been fat. You're just husky."
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