Victims of narcissists/psychopaths (human predators) go through a process I refer to as ‘recalibration’ after they deeply ‘see’ the true nature of the narcissist/psychopath.
Recalibration involves mentally replaying and reviewing past situations, conversations, circumstances, interactions, other points of engagement with the narcissist/psychopath in light of the realisation that the human predator has two distinctly different sides to them. One side is the fake ‘normal’ side that the victim has been relating to (and which is only an act).
One side (which the victim sees just prior to recalibration) is severely dishonest and without any respect for laws, rules, agreements, moral principles or codes of any kind. This is the real nature of the predator.
Recalibration does not just happen in intimate partner relationships either. It could be a friend, relative, doctor, cult leader, accountant…
The victim replays situations and questions everything during the period of recalibration. Did that really happen as the human predator said it did? Were they really at that place then? What was really motivating them during this situation? Was that other person in on it too? Were they with the people they said they were with during that weekend? Did they actually do what they said they were going to do then? Did they know that they were hurting me when they did that? Where were they during that time really? Were they really abused as a child as they said they were or is that just a story they made up to suck me in? When did they first start targeting me? So that might not have been a coincidence when that happened? The questions are endless.
It’s quite a painful experience for many, realising the many circumstances in which they were deceived/purposely exploited.