I had a coworker expose himself to me twice at work functions in front of other coworkers. I never reported it because I was afraid of retaliation. We were never romantically involved.
He later began openly bullying me, and other employees spoke up on my behalf. The company did nothing because he was friends with the founders.
Before I left, I was asked to sign multiple hush agreements in exchange for cash and equity. I didn't. Coworkers then asked me not to say anything because it could impact the company’s outcome.
He’s since gone on to lead revenue teams at several companies. I’ll never publicly name him because it always felt like I’d be the one dealing with the consequences.
This stuff often happens in plain sight. People know it and see it, but everyone has their own reason to stay quiet or to protect the perpetrator.
There’s also no right way to deal with it. Some choose to speak out. Some choose to find peace. Both are hard.
Secret whisper networks help women protect one another, but they can only do so much.
We need a system that supports victims/survivors, respects their dignity and holds perpetrators accountable—however powerful they may be.