The big idea in conservative thought this week is that "no real American studies for the spelling bee."
With Indians every day curing diseases, founding successful businesses, and all around being great citizens and a blessing to the country, this is what they have settled on as their main gripe: Indians are too hard working when it comes to the spelling bee. They actually study for it, while real pure blooded Americans would never do such a thing.
This is such a brilliant argument that if true we would have to accept their views on immigration. Nothing could be more important than the sanctity of the spelling bee as a low-effort pastime, and if we have to wait a decade or two to cure cancer to preserve mediocre spelling bee champions, that is a sacrifice we will have to make.
The casual spelling bee has now become the fundamental truth on which conservatism rests.
But is is true? Shockingly, with the help of a fellow friend of Indians, I've been able to find a series of clips of TV sitcoms from decades past portraying children studying for spelling bees.
I've collected them into this thread.
First, here's Charlie Brown in 1969 saying he's going to "study the whole dictionary." Sounds like something an Indian would say.