Here we go I guess? First thread ever on first night out alone ever?
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This isn’t a thread. I blew it. Whatever.
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Did I mention I don’t like being alone or was that implicit?
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First time I spoke to someone. It went well. He had a deeper voice than I expected. Otherwise went off without a hitch.
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I mean it was super low. I spoke in a fake low voice because I felt insecure.
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Just pretended to like mackerel because this is one of those sushi places where they just give it to you and he challenged me and was looking to judge. Also mackerel taste like an old, raw fish left on top of the dryer.
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Tweet every 20 minutes. I will probably respond to anyone who goes and listens to “Boys Like You” by random singer I found. @charlottelawr Whatever. #NightOutAlone #Brave #Shrinking #CharlotteLawrence
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Also my ability to handle one sake before a show was a grave miscalculation.
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Okay, Dinner Conquered. Fighting the slightly racist instinct to bow to this super cool sushi chef who doesn’t speak English. Was amazing. #Katsuei
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Off to the theater literally a block away. This is my “safe place”. They are my people. And I will stand there acting like I am waiting for someone like a champ.
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Cool downtown vibe. Not loving how my hair looks like a hairpiece.
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Yep. See you in 74 minutes (according to my research).
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Awesome show. #OneWomanShow really made me laugh. Going to my one drink. It’s 8:30. I feel like I’ve been up for 90 hours.
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Where I was murdered.
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Made it. Drink by self - here we GO.
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Bathroom first obviously just to get my bearings and regroup.
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Almost immediately lying to waiter as to why I’m only going to be here for a minute. Cool bar though.
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Waiting for my one drink - gonna try not to finish it, because…. I’m gonna need a dessert treat on the way home. Something that travels. A whole cake maybe.
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And yeah, this is what Twitter should be. I’d watch your night. And we’d have a kinship.
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First snag. I don’t love my drink. Not the drink’s fault. I often fool myself into bad choices. But the waiter is awesome. He’d give me a replacement. Snag #2 I don’t want one. So: thinking of pouring 3/4 of my drink out in the bathroom. Not all of it. Too obvious.
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The problem is Saffron. I don’t like Saffron. The menu said Saffron. We all see my mistake.
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Mouth tastes like saffron.
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Went a different direction. Tipped him the price of the still full drink and gave him a look that said “don’t ask”. Nailed it.
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If I nail the dessert huge victory. If not, the saffron to shitty dessert close is an unsuccessful night. Will post the dessert I choose then quietly cry myself to sleep.
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Almost drifted into getting a shake at McDonalds. Who am I? How am I allowed to raise children? Shaking it off. Also repeated something a total bro guy said out loud as he walked past me because he said it so bro-like and he heard/saw me.
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“I’m not having that, dude.” That’s what he said. Voice was low, but not as low as sushi guy.
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Oh no. Wagered everything on this dessert spot. Do I win by waiting for 45 minutes? Or by going to bed, no dessert, no drink, a healthy night?
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I want to thank everyone for helping me through tonight. Some wins. Some losses. But overall: I’d do it again. Gnight. I know I look like KD Lang when I’m tired, I’m cool w it. #NightOutAlone Listen to “Boys Like You” by #CharlotteLawrence It’s a “bop”.

Jun 24, 2023 · 2:09 AM UTC

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Sort replies: Relevant Recent Liked
Replying to @VDOOZER
This is tremendous.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
What the hell is a "bop" Bill?? Come on... #ConstantCraving
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Replying to @VDOOZER
Gnight.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
I only wish I saw this thread earlier so we could get #billlawrencetweets trending. Looks like a fun night
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Replying to @VDOOZER
Is that TV's Mike Nichols?
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Made. My. Night.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
What a ride
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Replying to @VDOOZER
We will be needing a five episode mini-series based on these events, Bill. Don’t worry we can wait
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Replying to @VDOOZER
You look so young
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Replying to @VDOOZER
U did well. I believe so. Boop. ✌🏻.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
I mean, not as interesting as After Hours, but not bad. 😀
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Replying to @VDOOZER
Good job! Proud of you!
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Replying to @VDOOZER
'Nite, Bill.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
Good thread.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
I've loved this whole thread, thank you for sharing! 😊 I hope you had a great night, despite it feeling weird to be out by yourself - you did well! 👍
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Replying to @VDOOZER
I’m actually going to need you to drop your skincare routine. Whatever Krista and Charlotte have turned you onto is WORKING.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
Technically you wasn’t on your own though. Had all of us coming along for the ride 😂. Incredible song btw. What a stunning voice .
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Replying to @VDOOZER
How’d you go from dessert place to begin 6 minutes? Are you a wizard?
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Place is across street.
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Replying to @VDOOZER
OK, here are the updates I missed. You look miserable. 🙁 Sorry I couldn't help you through earlier, my phone was locked up in an impenetrable pouch at a Bill Burr show...
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Replying to @VDOOZER
You need these guys to help keep the party going! Okay, I’ve convinced myself to go to sleep and stream some scrubs. Some of my dearest friends and I love your shows! Thank you for keeping us entertained!

ALT Scrubs Dance GIF

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