REMEMBERING MY LIGHT, MY NORTH STAR
15 years.
Since 2011, 5th October, when he left us, I have succumbed to a giant wormhole in my heart.
Since 2012, I have practiced this ritual, penning down my memories of him & sharing them back to him (spiritually) & after a few years, now to the world on this day, every year.
Yesterday, Steve came into my dream & him being my intellectual sparring partner all this time, dream didn’t felt weird, compared to how I dream mostly about apocalyptic future & survival.
This time Steve Jobs was receptive of what I was explaining him, he gripped me into his distortion field; as his admirer & student of life, I started talking like an excited young boy, about the kind of relationship i practice in my company.
He nodded, i continued…
“Steve sir imagine: you want to build another unsinkable as the ‘titanic’
now, if you’re reiterating your vision to your team, talking about collection & delegation of the process, drum them about the needs & give ordained orders.
you wouldn’t yield greatness…rather envision them about the vastness of the ocean.
be poetic & make them feel the romanticism of the creation process.
I strongly feel that unlike you I don’t manage them, but lead them. And lead with context, not control.
your company’s culture is the footprint of how you want the world to look at you.
it’s difficult to lift, understand the problem & yearn solutions for others to strive on - if you still have the sheer will & obsession to do it, well, you aren’t a disappointment after all”
He was silent. Cold. Like a monk. after long 5 mins of nothingness, he said:
“Viv, You’re really passionate when you talk.
Now, don’t you think these statements you gave, are mere construct of impactful words; even though it holds the true essence of experience & fair share of failures; don’t fucking look at it as some sort of melodies in your voice.
Uncomfortable?”
He said this. And walked slowly ahead of me.
After watching him move away from me. The sky went brownish-pink.
And he looked back. Smiled.
I swiftly opened my eyes, “Slide to stop…”, alarm blazing!!
I really really miss him these days, especially when I feel lost or too much overwhelmed.
That wormhole grows bigger, every year.
Thank you, Steve.
Still alive.