i'm fucking crying he sucks so much

You Can See Everything, while completely unremarkable in every way (it’s reality television), did supply me with an opportunity to lean over to my friend and whisper “this is why I left California” when, two hours into the drably staged, monotone Kabuki of fake autism (actually substance abuse and narcissism, but the most boring varieties of both), the monotone, fake-autistic Nathan Fielder marvels at the monotone, fake-autistic Elizabeth Holmes’ feigned inability to understand a simple joke, something I personally had to endure hundreds of times when dealing with this (exceedingly common) strain of Cali-poisoned “savant” whose entire pathology is that they’re just not very bright. A nice little blip of insight wrested from three hours of ketamine-assisted woolgathering I wish I never got involved with in the first place.

It’s like if they cast Kermit the frog in the most boring fucking movie ever.

100% the best film of the year! 3hour documentary and I didn’t get bored once! Fielder is a GENIUS! This cured my cancer! I now have the power of flight!!!

We made this for everyone who watched Tenet many times and still didn’t understand it.

Why do people buy a film, on 4k Blu-ray or whatever, before they’ve seen it. Are you not just paying to add a movie to your collection that might turn out to be crap?

Sicario, Jesse Plemmons, Slow Horses…STOP trying to canonise these mediocre pieces of media. We’re on to you. We can smell sub par from a mile away.

The Bourne Identity: Ludlum Cut. It’s as good as the original but this is now a European romantic actioner. Really great work!

Black Panther was one of the worst movies to ever receive universal praise.

“Best” or “favourite” film?: its just wording, your “favourite” is the “best” movie however the movie that you appreciate as being at the top of the tree of cinema is something altogether different in most cases. This is why the Sight & Sound best of lists are often reviled

I think Tarantino would approve:

The Drama: this has the most realistic puking in it. If you can’t puke on screen correctly then do it off screen.

Eggers & Cregger…? It’s a bit strange isn’t it? Has this happened before? Two filmmakers working in the same genre with almost the same name? I don’t remember a Scorsese & Verchase working on New York gangsters flicks or Cameron & Blameron making sci fi films.

Jill, Chris & Leon are at the base of the hospital. They recover the serum and save the guy, who will be known as ‘The Courier’ for the next four movies, and they retreat to a mansion in the woods…RE2!

“Eggers, Creggers, Aster & Peele”

Resident Evil…I was prepared for it to be a hunk o’ tofu but it was fantastic. It’s got all of the elements and it’s Creggers best movie so far. It’s not a game film it’s a film with reference to the game 7/10.

Paprika. Just watched it. It’s fantastic. Inception is a better film. Not more creative just a better story and way more rewatchable.

The Fall could be accused of style over substance. The problem is that is has a lot of substance and a very sweet story but style is so exceptional that it overpowers everything else in the film.

Heat is a benchmark film. It is the benchmark for gauging reviews or opinions. If a guy ever says to me that Heat is his favourite film then I automatically knock their recommendations down by two points: “it’s really good you should give it a try” that’s an automatic 5/10 to me

I remember watching 13 Hours years after it came out because it was a Michael Bay film…I’m feeling the same way about Zak Snyder’s The Last Photograph. 13 Hours remains a solid 8/10 and I’ve rewatched it 3 times.