been thinking about this. I don't think it's that easy to get balance, because inertia and reputation are just social physics. instead, I've been thinking about "good problems to have". I would rather say yes to most/all things that come my way, and work really hard as being a do-er, than the alternative. but then I work very hard at pattern matching and staying ahead of the curve. common questions/help? that means I need docs/tools/things I can automate. favours? those are good, because you can collect them and use them to help _other_ people when they need them. being "that guy" who people reach out to when they need it? become that guy. I'm constantly thinking of problems that will arise, and doing some work, or even just some thinking, so when the opportunity arises, I can move a little quicker than most.
relationships are hard, you got to work on them. yeah I feel swamped and tired a lot, but it's incredibly satisfying. and in a high trust environment, you can then say no and/or ask for some leeway, and people will give it to you because they want to preserve _their_ reputation with you. they'll get it.
these are all good problems to have.
importantly, this pays off HUGE. you won't see it when you're helping people, or being nice, or whatever. but oh buddy, when the time comes, they'll crawl out of the woodwork to help you, to support you, to defend you, whatever.
I need to formalize these thoughts sometime, this was loosely written. but I feel and live it everyday.
If you say no to everything, people are just going to build MVPs and POCs around you. And stop inviting you to things.
But if you say yes to everything, you’re going to either half ass all of it and lose trust, or burn out trying to deliver on your commitments.
Find balance.