Wouldn’t there have to be something overriding the “have sex” instinct (IYSWIM) for that to be the case, eg feeling sick, or some kind of pain that might be insufficient to actually halt arousal but would still curb the mental instinct to actually go for it? Otherwise I’m not sure a standard mounting arousal trajectory and desire for sex can really be fully separated, surely. A fully off the ground state of arousal kind of feels among other things like a kind of drunken autopilot towards sex and then not doing it (or something to bring about completion) is v physically frustrating.

Men aren’t insisting this, you can cuddle, be affectionate and have that closeness without arousal, but OP is suggesting full on making out in bed, becoming aroused and then not expect sex… it’s like putting a pizza in the oven and then throwing it away one it’s ready. Insanity.

Yes, making out and not having sex is kind of a gross way to view intimacy with your partner, we agree!

if you can't enjoy making out with a beautiful woman you love idk what to tell you buddy. stop thinking about sex as baseball metaphors like a teenager and embrace intimacy as a practice