Slightly damaged stroke survivor. Normally funny and friendly but don't mess with me, I bite.
That's me in the corner
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It's only 10 o'clock and I've already completed my daily step target 馃憤
Those 300 steps are torture at this time of the day馃ぃ馃ぃ
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Things I do not want to hear about today:
Ed Sheeran
Charles Spencer
Private Schools
The price of petrol
Anything that is demonstrably untrue.
Happy Wednesday Everyone
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I have returned with 3 new fillings! They're all on the stroke affected side of my face which the dentist kindly numbed in spite of the fact I can't feel it anyway. All this has achieved is that I'm dribbling more than usual. Very attractive 馃ぃ
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Today's excitement is a trip to the dentist. It should have been a routine check up until I lost filling so big it would have been a mass extinction event if I hadn't caught it. Luckily I still have access to an NHS dentist but I might have to be pragmatic and just have it out馃あ
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After her triumph with the lamb shank last night, the housekeeper reverted to her classic French cuisine tonight.
Everything came from cans馃ぃ馃ぃ
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I was sitting here minding my own business when all of a sudden the housekeeper blurts out "Can I have anal?"
I was a little surprised but calmed myself when I realised she was playing online Scrabble.
"The word you're looking for is annul and you've only got one N"
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The lamb shank was well worth waiting for and then she only went and topped it off with apple strudel and fresh cream.
I could marry her all over again right now 鉂わ笍
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Excitement Chez Alrighty. I asked the housekeeper if there was any chance of a lamb shank this weekend. She rolled her eyes at me but she's only been to the farm shop.
First Autumnal meal of the season coming up馃槈馃構
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I've had the email again. For the third month in a row I've won a cash prize on @PostcodeLottery It's not going to bust the bank but it will keep me in pork scratchings for a couple of weeks.
Guys, if you could just up the ante a little bit that would be lovely 馃ぃ馃ぃ
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Why I never wanted to be massively wealthy. It seems that it makes you arrogant and patronising with a massive superiority complex. It seems I'm not good enough to debate the morals of Inheritance Tax.
There's also something wrong with his spell check.
Paul you clearly have not got any form of real wealth (I mean that with respect) because we woo don鈥檛 be having these posts from you of you had. So before you dig a bigger hole and well before you start using the word dead, let鈥檚 leave it because you will never get the sentiment because I don鈥檛 believe you have created anything of value.
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I posted this earlier after I had a reply from @GuzKhanOfficial
My response was intended with a massive amount of sarcasm and irony which seems to have passed a lot of people by.
In future I'll remember to make it easy by sticking a fucking great smiley face on every post馃槀
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The housekeeper has just found a box of After Eights. The only possible explanation is that we somehow missed them last Christmas as they have a Best Before date of 17th July.
I reckon they're good for this Christmas, she's not sharing my enthusiasm. What do we all think 馃
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I think I might have eaten too much last night 馃あ Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. See you all again next year馃榿
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