The last several days, I’ve been trying to help someone who found himself in a serious mental health crisis with almost no support system around him. It meant responding to a call for help, sitting with him in a dark moment, getting him connected to crisis care, and then wrestling with what happens when the immediate crisis is over but the needs are still very real.
It has reminded me of something that we all need to consider when it comes to handling people’s crises when they arrive at our doorstep.
Sometimes a crisis is not by our hands, but it lands in our lap.
We didn’t create the circumstances. We aren’t responsible for the decisions, broken relationships, systemic failures, or years of difficulty that brought someone to this particular moment.
But now we know.
Now this person is in front of us.
Now their need has landed in our lap.
And I don’t think, “I didn’t cause this,” is sufficient reason to look the other way. Love requires us to ask, “Now that this has landed in my lap, what does faithfulness require of me?”
But there’s another question we have to ask too:
Just because it landed in my lap, does that mean it belongs on my shoulders?
Those are two very different things.
Compassion does not require us to assume ownership of every crisis we encounter. We can care deeply. We can intervene when necessary. We can make phone calls, advocate, connect resources, give generously, walk alongside someone, and carry a portion of the burden without assuming responsibility for fixing everything.
that’s the tension we have to learn to live in:
Not by my hands.
But in my lap.
But also, not all on my shoulders.
When someone’s crisis arrives at our doorstep, the question isn’t simply, “Is this my problem?” Nor is it, “How do I make this whole?”
The better questions may be:
What is mine to do?
What is theirs to carry?
What belongs in someone else’s hands?
And what must ultimately be entrusted to God?
The call is to faithfully carry what is mine, and faithfully release what isn’t.
How do you decide what’s yours to carry when someone else’s crisis lands in your lap?