"No coffee dates" is just a proxy (albeit an unskillful and easily gamed one) for "does he actually care and is willing to share resources, and friends and family and people who genuinely care for each other do"- is he willing to expand effort towards this relationship as I am?
In the end its not a problem with "women" or a problem with "men"- its a problem with a society that does not have an efficient way to deal with a very small percentage of its population that are predators
Standards are fine but are they actually conducive to finding love and being together is where discussion is. Like wanting to be treated well is reasonable. But thinking a coffee date is beneath you and disrespect is not the same.