im begging yall to think about when you say "you have to choose/want to be better" about mental disorders and disabilities in general.

Oct 18, 2026 · 1:10 AM UTC

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i get the sentiment and all but it is something ableists use - the concept that not wanting to be better is the problem. you might not notice thats what youre doing but it is.
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idk man ive just been told that too many times, about things that dont even apply, to hear "you have to choose to get better" and not immediately raise an eyebrow
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why did this blow up hello
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uhhhh i dont have anything to promote really but i post art. sometimes. i mostly just fandom post just look at my favorite guy thats all
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blew up too much and now im getting annoyed so. muting this who gaf
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
same concept applies here lol
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im unfortunately guilty of this. the issue is i cannot trigger that its a random status effect (that then leads to me crashing later)
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
I feel like it’s bc those people don’t see disabled people they only see people with addictions. Being young and sick and it not being your fault makes them angry. It’s easier for them to think it’s something you did so they don’t have to examine their beliefs.
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yeah, the only time this (sometimes, not always) applies is with people with addictions its such a weird mentality to apply to anything else
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
it gets very close to bootstraps ideology more often than people think
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THANK YOU.
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
I think it's more about learning how to cope with it that the "choose/want to be better" means. Not that one day you wake up and you're cured. It doesn't work like that. Instead you just learn how to live with it.
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well yeah, but it is still being worded a certain way. the issue is they need to just say what they actually mean
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
OMG YES i also have never heard this in a way where ppl didn't try to downplay abuse that happens to mentally ill people. Whenever I talk about the abuse and neglect i went through in therapy people always ask "well did you actually want to get better"
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if you didnt want to get better you wouldnt have been in therapy what???
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
how about choose to do something instead of doing nothing. Better is subjective to everyone but doing anything is automatically atleast move something forward than just standing there saying nothing ever work for me so i just mindlessly be in zombie mode for life.
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well yeah, i do think "push yourself when you can" is a good ideology. some days you cant, and thats ok. if its clinical it's never gonna FULLY go away, but you can cope with it. i just dont like the idea of "just choose to get over it" as a cure in general
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
You can recover from depression, you cannot recover from actual disability. Stop conflating them to justify stagnation. Unless you have extreme clinical depression you are just feeding depression with this defeatist attitude.
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i have bipolar disorder quite literally the "randomly get depressed for weeks at t atime" disorder but #ok
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more replies
Replying to @gusherssteak7
natural selection.
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hope it gets you next bestie
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
I've chosen that I want to be better then woke up, stood up out of bed, and immediately collapsed in pain Simply "choosing to be better" is a luxury
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
this is where mental illness conversations start being treated as if they’re separate from physical ilnesses and something people can control or choose to magically recover from. i hate it sm
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
Got that advice on here, told the person I've already done that and it's not working, they said I should just kill myself then. Lovely people
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
I also don't think people realize that a lot of disorders *do* leave people wanting to get better but they literally don't have the resources, or are in a toxic environment that keeps them stuck in place for a long time
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
It's really just because they think it's a moral failing to be mentally or physically ill or disabled and it's so..
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
exactly and it sounds like they are trying to say “it’s in your head”
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
It’s also extremely passive, indirect, and spineless But to be fair it’s probably someone that doesn’t know enough about the topic
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
Yh it’s a reductive phrase. Sadly it’s a hard thing to describe in a succinct way
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
people in the replies here are fucking insane I’m sorry you had to disable them to anyone who sees this: the definition of a disability from the ADA is “any physical *or mental* impairment that substantially restricts one or more major life activities”.
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Replying to @gusherssteak7
It is in some ways true but at the same time it's not the whole equation you know? Some people need more help than just that. But at the same time I do think my pure Determination is working out, slowly dragging me toward being able to focus better when I have adhd
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