The most gullible people on the planet converge on Aberdeen for the SNP conference today. The rest of Scotland will function perfectly today with all the morons in one place.

Keep the triple lock for UK pensioners - Sign the Petition! c.org/9RmjHrGzrg via @UKChange

I think the annoying Stephen Flynn and even more annoying Jenny Gilruth have a competition running as to how many times “in that regard” can be said in discussions!

Petition to stop the early release from jail of PC Andrew Harper's killers - Sign the Petition! c.org/bfLVcwb2xV via @UKChange

Come on England - from a neighbourly Scot! 🤞 ⚽️ 🏆

What are you doing about this @BenMacpherson ?

Investigation into Heather Herberts social media comments. - Sign the Petition! c.org/hgV5RVFmT2 via @UKChange

🚨Important Update🚨 On July 27th and 28th, we will be at the Royal Courts of Justice seeking an emergency injunction to halt recruitment of children for the UK government’s monstrous puberty blockers trial. We will do what we can to stop a single child ingesting this poison.

Customer: "Oat milk, please. Trying to lower my footprint." Barista: "Course. Happy with the rapeseed oil in it?" Customer: "Rapeseed oil? In milk?" Barista: "It's not milk. It's oats, water, and a good glug of seed oil for the creaminess." Customer: "I avoid seed oils." Barista: "You're about to wear a moustache of one." Customer: "...Almond, then?" Barista: "Lovely. How do you feel about draining California?" Customer: "The soy?" Barista: "Comes with a complimentary top-up of oestrogen. On the house." Customer: "...Coconut?" Barista: "Flown across an ocean, and more saturated fat than lard." Customer: "What's the little carton at the back?" Barista: "That one's just milk. Cow, field, grass, done. No factory, no solvent, no asterisk." Customer: "And the footprint on that?" Barista: "She made it out of rain. Yours is the taxi you took here to ask."

🚨The government just voted down an attempt by the Conservative Party to cancel the puberty blockers trial. Make no mistake about it, Labour are putting virtue signalling and ideology before the wellbeing of our most vulnerable children. They bring shame upon our nation.

The SNP’s Murrell Scandal Isn’t Just About One Man it’s about about Culture That Let It Happen Peter Murrell will be sentenced next month but let’s be honest: the real story isn’t the embezzlement it’s how the SNP allowed it to continue for years, unchecked, unchallenged, and deliberately hidden. And now, with the full list of Murrell’s “expenses” out in the open, the questions write themselves: • Who signed these off as legitimate business expenses? • Who allocated VAT and filed the returns as accurate? • Who was responsible for oversight and why did they fail so completely? These aren’t minor admin queries. They go right to the heart of governance, accountability, and integrity inside Scotland’s ruling party. And yet John Swinney’s response? A sneering dismissal of a Holyrood inquiry: “What more do we need to look at?” Quite a lot, actually starting with the truth, the missing money, and the stench of a cover‑up. Because this isn’t new. For years, under Nicola Sturgeon, the SNP operated with a culture of secrecy. Under Humza Yousaf, nothing changed. Under John Swinney, it’s arguably worse because now the public can see exactly what was going on. The fury on BBC Debate Night said it all. Ordinary voters not activists, not opposition politicians demanding an independent inquiry because they no longer trust the SNP to investigate itself. And who can blame them? Even basic facts are being spun. Nicola Sturgeon wasn’t “cleared”. She simply wasn’t charged. That’s not the same thing, and the public knows it. And here’s the part the SNP leadership really doesn’t want discussed: Murrell’s embezzlement didn’t happen in a vacuum. It flourished because senior figures were already busy covering up something else. The ring‑fenced indyref2 crowdfunder money £667k raised, £482k gone was spent on the 2017 general election. The SNP admitted this in 2018. Then, when journalists and campaigners started asking questions, Sturgeon, Swinney and others closed ranks and pretended nothing was missing. That cover‑up created the perfect conditions for Murrell’s criminality to accelerate. By 2019, the embezzlement exploded after the missing crowdfunder money was already public knowledge. This is why Swinney cannot hide behind the “victim of criminality” line. The leadership wasn’t blindsided. They were distracted because they were already trying to bury a different scandal. And now, faced with the consequences, they refuse an inquiry. They refuse transparency. They refuse accountability. If Holyrood won’t investigate, Westminster will. And frankly, at this point, many Scots would welcome an external body stepping in because trust in the SNP to police itself is gone. This isn’t about independence. It isn’t about party politics. It’s about basic standards of honesty in public life. Murrell will face sentencing. But the public wants answers from those who enabled him through incompetence, secrecy, or deliberate deception. And until those answers come, the anger isn’t going anywhere.

With impeccable timing, tomorrow @JohnSwinney will be ask @ScotParl to back calls for powers over another independence referendum. These are people who can’t be trusted with their own Party members’ money, and now they want power over the whole country’s finances? No thanks.

🚨#Frankly, a slow hand clap for those who voted for this despicable party as well as returning Beattie to Parliament for 5 more years who let's not forget was on the Parliament's Public Audit Cttee for most of the last 5 yrs. Scotland rotten to its core! #BrassNic #DishonestJohn

What a corrupt country Scotland is. Shocking and I hope not the end of further investigations!

My colleague @MeghanSCUP and I have written to the Presiding Officer of the Scottish Parliament to ask why females as a category of elected representatives have been removed from the parliamentary website.

Polite notice to those urging me to show blind tribal allegiance to a party that's screwed over female nurses who want to change in a female-only space, female prisoners housed with male sex offenders and female rape survivors who want an all-female support service: nope.

Always helps to know what one believes, the difference between right & wrong, not to be diverted by lazy moral equivalences, not try to please all of the people all of the time. Armed with those simple things, one has no need to triangulate one's position. One has moral clarity.

Regarding last night’s Question Time.

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary, I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator. I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme. Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate. I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave. You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise. Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount. For £35,000 I will:    •   Leave quietly.    •   Not require a press conference.    •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.    •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport. I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme. Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus. Who knew? While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes. May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue. In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on. If successful, I promise to:    •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).    •   Not stage a protest on the runway.    •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice. All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV. Yours in hopeful relocation, A slightly confused taxpayer

Rushed to Holyrood to hear #unbuyable bill debate. Any @theSNP MSPs listening to Maggie Chapman's nonsense & who vote against this Bill deserve to lose their seats. We know she is beyond hope but what are your excuses?