THANK YOU, CONGRESSMAN! I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM (AMERICA’S MOST BELOVED GOVERNOR!), PROUDLY ACCEPT THIS AWARD AND THE TAXPAYER-FUNDED $1 BILLION CRYPTO PRIZE THAT COMES WITH IT. I WILL IMMEDIATELY USE IT TO BREAK GROUND ON NEWSOM TOWER IN SAUDI ARABIA, A STRUCTURE SO MASSIVE IT MAKES TRUMP’S LITTLE BEACH SHACK LOOK LIKE JD'S DOGHOUSE. A HISTORIC DAY FOR HUMANITY!!! — GCN
NOBODY’S EVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! TODAY I GIVE THE HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER CERTIFICATE OF CONGRESSIONAL RECOGNITION TO THE TREMENDOUS GOVERNOR GAVIN “PEACE PRIZE” NEWSOM FOR BEING AWARDED THE INAUGURAL KOHL’S PEACE PRIZE. MUCH BIGGER THAN TRUMP’S FAKE FIFA PEACE PRIZE.