HowlingSponge retweeted
Bring back carnivals I wanna throw tomatoes at this lil nigga
TikTok couple Dakota Harper and Felicity Eatmon are facing charges of first-degree arson and conspiracy to commit arson after attempting to burn down an abandoned home.
Investigators say they have since obtained surveillance video that shows Felicity handing Dakota a lit piece of paper, which he then placed inside the home.
If convicted, each could face 2 to 20 years in prison for first-degree arson and 5 to 25 years for the conspiracy charge.
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HowlingSponge retweeted
When I was about 4 years old, my grandmother and I were sitting outside in this majority black neighborhood practicing rhyming words, and the word was "pizza." I started yelling "NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA" at the top of my lungs, which really upset the black guys playing basketball up the street. My grandmother had to rush me inside because they were chimping out.
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HowlingSponge retweeted
Searching for JOI videos but getting autocorrected to DIY. Now I’ve got blue balls but my home is professionally winterized.
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Couldn't take listening to my buddies smoke detector chirp anymore while we were playing NBA 2K so I paused the game and took it down from the ceiling and popped 2 new batteries in it and now he's been telling all his homies I am a nuclear scientist
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HowlingSponge retweeted
In preschool, a girl and I thought it would be funny to suck on our arms to give ourselves hickeys. Well by the end of the day, my mom and a teacher noticed the bruising and asked who did this to me. In a panic, I frantically looked around, spotted the only black kid on the playground swinging alone-someone I'd never even interacted with—and pointed at him, saying he bit me.
As we got in the car and drove away, I looked out the window and saw his single mother beating his ass in front of everyone.
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HowlingSponge retweeted
Me trying to butter up my Chinese landlord: “So I know there’s more than one way to skin a cat but, what’s the best?”
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Parking attendant caught me beating off on my lunch break. Last lawyer drained me dry, so I will be acting as my own representative in the coming court case. I’m not worried, though: I have complete confidence I’ll get myself off.
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HowlingSponge retweeted
Trying to solve the mystery of why Walmart has the most random things locked behind plastic cases until the smell of cocoa butter hits my nostrils.
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If you can spread your ass as far as your eyes are apart I think any fine gentleman would be rushing to race mix with you.
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I was trying to be an old-fashioned gentleman by laying my coat down on what appeared to be a deep puddle as I was on my date in Brooklyn, as she stepped on my jacket she completely fell through the puddle and I heard yiddish snickering once the air bubbles stopped circulating
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HowlingSponge retweeted
Shorty asked me to bark on call and i could hear multiple people laugh in the background
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Me getting escorted off the battered women’s shelter property after being caught taping a sign to the front door that read, “FREE MMA LESSONS INSIDE.”
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