they’re calling it the jason calcandle

Introducing Bitwater: the water heater element that mines Bitcoin. It screws into the electric tank you already have. Physically decentralized mining that runs no matter what 🧵 Heat water. Mine Bitcoin. Same tank.

Nathan Fielder spent over a decade preparing for the Holmes doc, including that time he rigged a blood test with a fart machine to show that people had more fun (eg. higher dopamine levels) when hanging around him.

"Please bro, i don't want to sell my 3rd rental home. If social security fails, how am i supposed to afford my monthly casino trips. Please bro i have a cruise planned. Inheritance? You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

A message from the family of Dolly Parton.

Russell Westbrook retired today with the most triple-doubles in NBA history. The name written on his wrist for all 18 seasons belongs to the kid UCLA actually wanted. That kid died at 16, and Westbrook spent two decades playing for both of them. Westbrook was a 5'8", 140-pound freshman that no college recruited. The call UCLA's head coach made to his high school in 2004 was about Khelcey Barrs III, Westbrook's best friend from across the street in Hawthorne. A 6'6" phenom pulling scholarship offers as a sophomore. The two had a pact to play at UCLA together, then the NBA. In May 2004, during a pickup game at LA Southwest College, Barrs collapsed on the court. An undiagnosed enlarged heart. Westbrook walked across the street every morning after that to do his friend's chores at his grandmother's house. Then he grew 7 inches, averaged 25 a game as a junior, and took the UCLA offer they were supposed to accept together. From that point on he played like a man carrying two careers. The numbers he put up look like typos. 209 triple-doubles is the most in NBA history, and it took breaking Oscar Robertson's record that stood for 47 years. In 2017 he averaged a triple-double across an entire season, something no human had done since 1962, then did it three more times. 27,176 points, 14th all time. 10,351 assists, 5th all time, behind only Stockton, CP3, Kidd, and LeBron. He did all of it at 6'3" in a league of giants, and outlasted the franchise that drafted him. Seattle picked him 4th in 2008 and stopped existing before he played a game. And in every one of his 1,301 games, he wore two wristbands. One said KB3. The other said "Why not?" People spent 18 years asking why he played every possession like the building was on fire. He was playing for two.

as of now: median dormancy 3.5 years 88% of coins stolen were 1+ year old by address: median loss 0.014 BTC mean loss 0.212 BTC victim reports received: 250+ by victim (as reported): median loss 1.022 BTC mean loss 4.04 BTC loss range across all reports: 624 sats to 58.97 BTC

Bruh can the bots get me over 1k followers?

🚨 LIKELY 4TH ORGANIZED WAVE COLDCARD ATTACK OCCURRING RIGHT NOW THERE ARE STILL SIMILAR TXS IN THE MEMPOOL WAITING TO BE CONFIRMED AND THE PREVIOUSLY-CONFIRMED TXS SIGNAL RBF OPT-IN, CHECK YOUR FUNDS AND YOU MAY BE ABLE TO RBF YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS pattern identified: blocks 960,778 - 960,792 (last ~2.5 hours, still going): • 218 transactions, 462 victim addresses, 216 fresh destinations. • 388.92748828 BTC • EVERY one has ZERO inputs predating the Coldcard firmware boundary • Rate 13.8 sweeps/block vs 0.3/block in a pre-incident control window = ~45x elevated • Topology is 1:1 — one fresh destination per victim, only ONE destination received two sweeps. No collector funnel. • Some funds have already been swept into 2nd hop addresses. these are LIKELY Coldcard victims -- they match the shape of coldcard vulnerable utxos and the elevated transaction pattern gives me high confidence they are another wave of attacks MOVE YOUR FUNDS OFF COLDCARD DEVICES ASAP AND USE HIGH TX FEES more details to come as this takes shape

IMPORTANT UPDATE WE HAVE CONFIRMATION FUNDS ARE STILL BEING RECOVERED ON NO PASSPHRASE MK3 DEVICES. THERE IS HOPE FOR RECOVERY IF YOU ACT FAST MK4S WITH SHORT PASS PHRASES ARE BEING SWEPT NO ONE IS SAFE ACT NOW GET YOUR BITCOIN OFF COLD CARDS

Lets go! Slipstream in the latest block saved approx 158.6 BTC from 2/3 multisig likely being rugged from pwned Coldcards. feelsgoodman.jpg

I was thinking about this long before today’s incident. I even messaged @niftynei when she was organizing the Villains edition of btcpp. Today’s incident only reinforced my view: Bitcoiners trust far more than we like to admit. Bitcoiners often overestimate how much scrutiny critical software actually receives. Open source doesn’t automatically mean heavily audited. Popular doesn’t automatically mean well reviewed. Reputation isn’t a substitute for review.

More than a year ago, the House passed the Clarity Act. There’s been progress since — thousands of hours of bipartisan negotiations took place at the staff and Member levels. The Senate Committees on Banking and Agriculture advanced their respective titles. And Senate Republicans produced a floor-ready product that, as I type this, is waiting for a vote. It’s disappointing — but not surprising — that Senate Democrats are choosing politics on the cusp of a major victory for American leadership. Find another instance in history where Congress, when given the choice, opted to push an industry out of the United States rather than smartly regulate it. American Exceptionalism was once a bipartisan goal; if Clarity fails, I have serious doubts. These same Democrats — many of whom have taken millions of dollars from the crypto industry — proclaim that Clarity lacks safeguards for consumers and falls short in countering illicit finance. Nothing could be further from the truth. Titles II and III materially uplift regulatory and compliance obligations for digital asset intermediaries, placing them on similar footing with traditional financial institutions. The Blockchain Regulatory Certainty Act — which Washington lobbyists have spun up as a boogeyman for certain groups of prosecutors and law enforcement — does nothing other than codify longstanding Treasury Department policy that’s remained consistent across Administrations: non-custodial builders and developers are not, and have never been, subject to registration obligations under the Bank Secrecy Act. And at this point, major law enforcement trades that once opposed the bill, including the Fraternal Order of Police, have now endorsed it. The Senate needs to vote NOW on this landmark legislation. The truth is that Senate Democrats are afraid to advance the Clarity Act as they fear Senator Warren and the “Anti-Crypto Army” she once promised to build. In the days ahead, Leader Thune will put this theory to the test. Will Senate Democrats be on the side of American Exceptionalism, or will they opt to cede American leadership of a global industry for fear of the bespectacled squirrel’s Left flank? America will lead or America won’t. It’s not more complicated than that. I believe Satoshi once said it best: “If you don’t believe me or don’t get it, I don’t have time to try to convince you, sorry.”

This guy recaps the deficit situation:

It's #MannaMonday! ⚡️Bitcoin Merchant Spotlight Giveaway⚡️ We’re very excited to team up with @TheLeatherMint to give away some handcrafted leather goods! 1 Belt of truth & 2 ColdSleeves = 3 WINNERS! To enter, - like & RT this post - tag 3 people that need a belt & need to MOVE THEIR SATS OFF THE EXCHANGE - must be following @TheLeatherMint & @MannaBitcoin theleathermint.com/shop/ Winners announced next Monday!

We're doing another @Bitkey giveaway! A built-in screen. No seed phrase. 2-of-3 multisig. Follow @Bitkey and us, RT to enter. ✅ Winner announced Tuesday 7/28 at 4PM EST.

BIP-110 IS THE WORD

x.com/i/spaces/1kKzDDbzdkaJv S/O @Rob1Ham