BTW, I disagree with the "good man" part.
I don't think I am and I don't think many are. We are just men. Men in a constant battle of good vs evil, mind vs heart, and all we can really do is hope the heart wins more than the mind.
When I was younger my mind was like the Yankees. It won all the time. I've made no secret of this. I'm even working on a book about it, and overcoming the past.
I was talking with a friend about that book a few days ago and explained it was progressing slowly. The problem is that I write how bad the bad days were, the mind will sometimes chime in and say "Actually that was a lot of fun" and so I fight that battle again
It's like the movie The Devil's Advocate. A 2hr movie that only covers about 15 minutes of time. In the end Keanu is proud of himself for doing the right thing, while the devil is right there planning the next minute.
Not going to lie, I was very close to closing this down tonight. I have been close for 2 months. The harassment, libel, and loss of friends almost broke.
But today I saw an email from a Deaf Movie attendee. This is what she wrote.
"Thank
Thanks for let us watch movies. It good. I wish to meet u.
Have a nice weekend. We appreciate to go there movie. Hope it again movies."
That may be hard to understand, and sounds like a young child. It's not. It's a woman who was brought up in an ASL home. She is writing in sign language.
It is often misunderstood. There are people on the other side of this story who like to spend their days calling people "retards." They mock people like the person who emailed me because they don't care to take the time to think about how others feel.
The world is cruel to people like her. When she does brave the world it's a treat. A treat that hopefully no cruel person will ruin.
So, for her I will keep going. For her, I will take this harassment and more. Because she smiled for a night and that made it worth it.
Am I a good man?
No.
But I am trying, and that's all that matters.
Best,
Mav
PS
If you are a willing party to harming this project and by extension the Deaf community, with lies...
Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
Sincerely,
My Mind