I was gone for 3 years, don’t know why I came back.
Over, Under, Sideways, Down
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Million dollar idea: An adult themed mini-golf course called
“In The Putthole”
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If Bob Dylan is a better musical artist than Prince, why wasn't Bob Dylan asked to record original songs for the 1989 hit movie Batman starring Michael Keaton? Fuck that mumbling harmonica playing asshole.
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Whenever I see an 80+ year old couple walking through the grocery store holding hands, I think, “That is so sweet!”
Then I wonder how long it took her to break him down like that and how great she must be in bed for him to put up with it.
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Don’t forget to put the retainer fee for your divorce on a Discover card so you get cash back…
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I have a bag of jasmine rice in the pantry and 30 rolls of Costco toilet paper. So, yeah, Im kind of a prepper…
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I never pay attention to reviews because Crocodile Dundee 2 got 13% and it's one of the greatest movies ever made.
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I’m watching the “U.S. Air Guitar All-Star Air Off” on ESPN 8 and realizing that there are many things worse than working 10 hours every day.
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Stop saying they’re pushing the gay agenda down your throat there are several different ways to phrase that
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Went for a run and my sweating ass removed some apps from my home screen and I have no idea which ones
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Life gets better every day when you stop dealing with other people’s bullshit.
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If I’m the Fever, at some point my statement would be stop harassing our fans with false accusations just because you’re losing.
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