Patron Saint of Sluts & Whores - feminist AF @jennslowpez is my love nitter.net/search?q=(from%3Amistr…
St of Happy
- Tweets 260,571
- Following 12,912
- Followers 105,715
- Likes 538,311
Fuck it all, Love Molly 💋 retweeted
Say I’m delusional one more time and I will kick you off my unicorn.
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I have the bone density of a much younger woman
-Me, flirting in my fifties
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Your girlfriend just bought a new Subaru? Sit down, bro, I have some news.
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Eventually they’ll have to recall their Cyclospora for being contaminated with E. coli.
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Gonna start randomly blocking people for no reason. Just so that they wonder why they got blocked
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Pretty soon the only thing that's going to happen when you open a news website is a 140 decibel air raid siren will blast you directly in the face
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You’re telling with a straight face that the quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons is named Michael Penis
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Before you fall in love with me realize I know all the words to Paul Revere.
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Which one of you put in a ticket asking how many donuts I can stack on it?
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I don’t want much, just something that transcends time, space, and reality.
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Found out that the TikTok asshole of the week is some dude I went on a couple of dates with a while ago. I guess that completes the “just get a cat instead” album
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RT @darkxfer: fall into this mess with me
where rolling thunder
drives us snuggling
to forgive future illusions
tangled together
a sleek re…
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Fuck it all, Love Molly 💋 retweeted
The internet: where everyone has a PhD in being on their high horse, and a preschool education in self-awareness.
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