The Babylon Bee
@TheBabylonBee

Fake news you can trust 🐝

 United States
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Joined February 2016
19,714 Photos and videos
Iranian President Caught Using Cardboard Cutout Of Ayatollah To Sneak Into HOV Lane buff.ly/d1zkjn0

Iranian President Caught Using Cardboard Cutout Of Ayatollah To Sneak Into HOV Lane

NEW YORK, NY — As world leaders from around the globe were in the U.S. this week to attend the United Nations General Assembly, the Iranian president was reportedly caught using a cardboard cutout of...

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Dad (Man Cold) Listed As Questionable For Sunday buff.ly/VVFxn7n

Dad (Man Cold) Listed As Questionable For Sunday

FRANKLIN, TN — Local husband and father Greg Hartley, who came down with a case of the sniffles earlier this week, was officially listed as "questionable" for church attendance (or anything) this...

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Trump Says There May Still Be Time To Save Midterm For Republicans By Starting A New War buff.ly/dWqniWT

Trump Says There May Still Be Time To Save Midterm For Republicans By Starting A New War

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an address to GOP supporters on Friday, President Donald Trump outlined a bold strategy to rally conservative voters ahead of the upcoming midterm elections by launching a...

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Man Once Again Loses Train Of Thought During Prayer And Starts Thinking About How He’d Defend The Church From Muslim Terrorists buff.ly/MbWXD9M

Man Once Again Loses Train Of Thought During Prayer And Starts Thinking About How He’d Defend The...

AMARILLO, TX — During the opening prayer of a Wednesday evening church service, local man Adrien Herald once again lost his train of thought as he began daydreaming about defending his congregation...

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Facts About Flock Cameras: Everything You Need To Know
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Judge Rules That Trump Must Allow White House Access To Assassins buff.ly/o3zfSY6

Judge Rules That Trump Must Allow White House Access To Assassins

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge has overturned President Donald Trump's ban on assassins being allowed into the White House.

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Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost
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More Winning: Trump To Demolish UN Building And Replace With UFC Arena buff.ly/M5UK2DA

More Winning: Trump To Demolish UN Building And Replace With UFC Arena

NEW YORK — Trump's Tuesday speech at the United Nations Headquarters in Midtown Manhattan will officially be his last as he has announced plans to demolish the building and replace it with a tremen...

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Drought Over After Wife Empties Water Bottles From Nightstand Into Town's Water Supply buff.ly/G54O0kF

Drought Over After Wife Empties Water Bottles From Nightstand Into Town's Water Supply

WACO, TX — The months-long drought in southern Texas has ended after local woman Stacy Ramage emptied all the water bottles from her nightstand into the water supply.

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After 20 Years, Man Makes Tearful, Difficult Decision To Change Wallets buff.ly/1jyQA8U

After 20 Years, Man Makes Tearful, Difficult Decision To Change Wallets

EAGAN, MN — Family and friends of Lance Williams recently confirmed that the 45-year-old was just forced into the tearful, harrowing decision to change his wallet after 20 years together.

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Dog CDC Announces Eating Own Poo Completely Safe buff.ly/aQbNbk6

Dog CDC Announces Eating Own Poo Completely Safe

ATLANTA, GA — In a groundbreaking statement that seemed to do away with all previous data, a group of researchers from the Dog CDC announced that eating your own poo was completely safe.

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Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read 'Chronicles Of Narnia' buff.ly/yFaPgjG

Sinful, Rebellious Homeschooler Stays Up Past 9:30 To Read 'Chronicles Of Narnia'

MILWAUKEE, WI — In a dreadful act of willful disobedience, sinful rebellious homeschooler Jaxsyn Clement stayed up past 9:30 p.m. to read The Chronicles of Narnia.

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Wife Refuses To Confirm Any Of Husband's Restaurant Nominations buff.ly/5Bh88FU

Wife Refuses To Confirm Any Of Husband's Restaurant Nominations

KATY, TX—Local woman Wendy Bryerson announced today she will not be confirming any of her husband Jake's restaurant nominations.

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Loser Disciple Can't Even Cast Demon Out Of A Kid buff.ly/3u63DcT

Loser Disciple Can't Even Cast Demon Out Of A Kid

GALILEE — The disciples of Jesus of Nazareth got a big laugh after one of their own turned out to be a giant loser who couldn't even cast one demon out of a kid.

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Airline Carefully Selects Most Heavily Accented Employee To Make Gate Announcements buff.ly/ardFNqF

Airline Carefully Selects Most Heavily Accented Employee To Make Gate Announcements

DENVER, CO — A major airline company announced that it had carefully considered all its employees and made sure that the most heavily accented person would make all gate announcements for passengers...

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'The Babylon Bee' Hires Stanford University To Take New Staff Photo buff.ly/GgE1gNQ

'The Babylon Bee' Hires Stanford University To Take New Staff Photo

U.S. — The Babylon Bee is excited to publicly release our first official staff photo in five years, with a huge thanks to the expert visual media team from Stanford University who made it possible.

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Top 10 Reasons To Move To Washington State buff.ly/wphhKYq

Top 10 Reasons To Move To Washington State

While the Evergreen State is most famous as the setting for the hit NBC sitcom Frasier, actual people live there, too. Could you be the next one to call it home?

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Heaven Confirms People Who Line The Dashboards Of Their Jeeps With Little Duckies Will Not Inherit The Kingdom Of God buff.ly/iL90HIy

Heaven Confirms People Who Line The Dashboards Of Their Jeeps With Little Duckies Will Not Inherit...

HEAVEN — A representative of Heaven confirmed on Thursday that people who line the dashboards of their Jeeps with little duckies will not inherit the kingdom of God.

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Toddler Says He Definitely Does Not Need To Potty — Update: TODDLER NEEDS TO POTTY RIGHT NOW buff.ly/5cbVX5l

Toddler Says He Definitely Does Not Need To Potty — Update: TODDLER NEEDS TO POTTY RIGHT NOW

GRAPEVINE, TX — Local toddler Harlan Carter confidently insisted to his mother that he absolutely did not need to go potty before getting in the car for a two-hour drive.

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What A Noob! This So-Called 'Pastor' Didn't Even Make Each Sermon Point Start With The Same Letter buff.ly/iFm9mmw

What A Noob! This So-Called 'Pastor' Didn't Even Make Each Sermon Point Start With The Same Letter

OWASSO, OK — It was total amateur hour at First Baptist Church of Owasso as so-called "Pastor" Darren Parsons didn't even make each of his sermon points start with the same letter.

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