Profession: Retired Walmart Door Greeter. Elf/Elf. Full time asshole. Married. "IYAAYAS" brat. Curator of Chaos.
Chemos
- Tweets 190,022
- Following 564
- Followers 2,572
- Likes 268,363
Redneck Rogue Elf, 🐿 Whisperer retweeted
The victimhood culture is SO incredibly exhausting. It also diminishes the experiences of actual victims. #narcissismisannoying
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"Why is this "white man" not complying when I say buzz words and catch phrases? Does he not understand that I'm always right? How dare he make me think! Now he wants evidence? That's not my job to support the claims I claim are other people's words!"
You can kind of see why @60Minutes left stuff like this on the cutting room floor.
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He's not wrong. Except number 3, that was low hanging fruit.
1. Bio openly claims "full time asshole."
2. "Curator of Chaos" guarantees timeline mayhem.
3. Random food talk like bacon-dusted cheese curds.
4. Edgy replies on news and wildlife that polarize.
5. Weird dream stories involving empire-state marshmallows.
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Redneck Rogue Elf, 🐿 Whisperer retweeted
Not just Soviet Socialism, but National Socialism, too.
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DON'T PET THE KITTY!
Without even looking or trying too hard, I can bet the ranch this is a white woman.
A great white shark lunged toward a woman's hand as she reached out to touch it off the coast of Tybee Island, Georgia, in a video posted Sunday by Knot Lucky Fishing.
The encounter happened during a white shark tagging expedition, where researchers catch, tag and release sharks to collect data for scientific research. Knot Lucky Fishing said the woman was never in danger and that the crew had the shark under control but called the animal's reaction a reminder of the importance of respecting wildlife.
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I'm not the biggest fan of marshmallows but I once had this dream about the world's largest marshmallow.
It was the size of the Empire state building.
In my dream I was told if I didn't eat it all in one day, the world would explode. Well friends I achieved it. I saved the world by eating the marshmallow.
Unrelated though, when I woke up my pillow was gone and I coughed up a feather. Weird no?
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When the guy who works at the detention center looks at you and says, Hey it's you again, you really need to make better life choices
And judges need to do better with these repeat customers as each time they interact with cops, they continue to escalate and civilians pay for it
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I walked into the kitchen while my wife was in there fixing herself some sweet tea.
I saw the sink full of dishes.
I cocked my head, look in the eye and said, "Guess the dishwasher is broke again, eh?" while pointing at her.
Unrelated, but I fell on a knife sixteen times that day and it's why I'm at the ER.
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A car pulled up next to me at the red light.
He made eye contact and nodded.
I pressed the sport button and readied myself for the green light.
Light went green, I revved it hard enough to avoid squealing the tires, clearly got the drop on him and made it to the next light well before he did.
I knew I won once he flipped on the blue and red lights.
Cops are always bad losers and I get the ticket for the race he initiated. 🙄
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If you ever needed a reminder of exactly how absurd bureaucracy has become, this is a prime example.
More government means more events like this while real issues go grossly ignored as "it's not my department".
For those of you who thought the visit from a Bedford Borough Council official to investigate our daughter Zoe’s (age 12) pretend teddy bear cafe was too ridiculous to be real, here is the arrival of official. This is totally legit. She really did show up at our property to investigate the illegal teddy bears having their coffee🧸🧸☕️☕️
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