The late, great Scott Adams always cautioned - wisely - about mind reading, and while their most certainly is mind reading occurring in this post, it’s also one of the most coherent explanations I’ve heard.
Worth a read while bearing in mind neither you nor I can read minds.
Lindsay Clancy did not hear voices. She just dealt with ordinary difficulties of being a parent in deranged way. I know how this works very well because I've gone through something similar with my girlfriend.
Lindsay Clancy is an extremely neurotic person. She put herself in a position where she felt she had to be a control freak & it ended up making her extremely frustrated, then unhappy, then resentful to her children, who didn't conform to her micromanagement.
Instead of chilling the fuck out, she escalated her resentment & started openly telling people she wanted to hurt her children. This is what happens when an angry, neurotic person doesn't get their way & won't back down. They internally escalate in their minds until they snap.
She was basically putting a gun to the heads of her kids and telling everyone around her that she'd pull the trigger unless they solved her problems for her. But her problem was that she was a neurotic sociopath who could not handle that children could not conform to her absurd expectations. The only solution was for her to back down & accept that her personality was wrong & that she'd have to conform herself to the reality. But nobody checked her. Nobody fought her, or invalidated her, so her sick, twisted deviant mindset was like a runaway train headed for a clash with reality. And the only possible outcomes were that she'd "lose" & back down, or she'd have to escalate to overt violence just as she was threatening for months.
If you keep telling yourself "if that MF does that shit one more time, I'm gonna!!!" over and over for months, you work yourself into a state where you feel psychically committed to violence & like the biggest loser in the world if you back down. This is what was happening in her mind. She responded to normal kids clashing with her neurosis with deranged mental escalation. It got out of her control.
By December she was at her breaking point & open about harming the kids. She started and stopped & did not take as directed a bunch of different psychiatric medications looking for a quick fix (which they aren't) for a problem that was entirely based on her personality for which the only solution was for her to chill TF out. But her evil thoughts & mindset were dominant by this point & her weaker side was looking for a way out.
>January 16: Amitriptyline prescribed. She reported having to force herself out of bed. Flat, depressed affect.
By mid January she had a depressive episode where she "gave up". Her internal struggle between her violent, aggressive neurotic side & her weaker socialized self was over. Her socialized side didn't get the quick fix it wanted & she put herself in a position where she would have to choose to escalate to act on her many threats & fantasies, or abandon them. Had she abandoned them, she would have immediately solved all her problems, but it would have meant invalidating a big part of her personality. In her mind, it would have made her the biggest loser ever. Zero credibility. Her ego wouldn't allow that.
Instead, she chose to escalate. This realization 1st manifested as depression and dissociation because part of her understood she'd be destroying her life, but the dominant part simply didn't care. She'd psyoped herself into a cycle of escalation where she was so angry and frustrated at her kids that, with no path to "winning", she was ready to kill them. People like this tell themselves that it's sort of "for the greater good" & they're teaching society a lesson. This is all BS. In reality it is just an extremely malformed personality trying to assert itself in a way that is totally at odds with reality, then coping with losing with a spiral of aggression & hatred that builds up to a breaking point. That's Lindsay Clancy.
>January 22: Dinner at a family friend’s house; the friend found her quiet but “fairly normal.” Her parents visited that weekend.
>January 23: Virtual appointment with Tufts. Depressed mood, flat affect, racing heart, no motivation. She denied suicidal or homicidal ideation. Tufts observed no psychosis. The December 22 phone note was modified that day.
Then she started to act normal. And why wouldn't she? The dissonance was over. She'd already decided to murder her kids.
And then she did it. In a very calculated, methodical way. And I bet it felt SO GOOD to her when she did it. This was the culmination of a HUGE build up of hatred and murderous fantasies towards her kids. This was the ultimate cathartic release. Bear in mind that she had to murder all 3 in sequence. She had a full opportunity after the murdered the 1st one to be like "wow that was horrible, I definitely don't want to do that 2 more times" but she was LOVING IT.
But then something she never could have imagined happened. Once she finished murdering all 3 children: that horrible evil personality inside her driving her to do it DISAPPEARED. Like, you know how when a guy cums and then suddenly he has massive "post nut clarity" because his entire sexual motivation to do whatever it takes to get pussy just disappears? Same thing. She won. She got what she wanted. That part of her was totally satisfied, and, once satisfied, IT NO LONGER HAD ANY REASON TO CONTINUE TO EXIST, so it just faded away.
Lindsay Clancy didn't really want to kill herself. But in her post nut clarity, she realized she would need to play the victim. She edited her phone note to blame the medications. She slit her wrists and neck very lightly knowing it was just for looks. Then she jumped out of a 2nd story knowing it would probably just injure her but not kill her. Evil women often do things like fake heart attacks after they get caught because "play the victim" is the only move these people have.
And ever since that day, Lindsay Clancy has always acted like a rational person who wanted to minimize the consequences for herself. It's not even strongly mental illness that made her do it, it was just a cognitive defect in committing internally to control & escalation repeatedly until her emotional motives exceeded her conscious capacity for reason. ☕️